Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Part III- Getting Harder & Harder

Part I
Part II

DISCIPLINE…..that’s what it is going to take for me to get through this. It is emotionally exhausting to recount this for the first time in its entirety. Please bear with me as the days tick by without additions to the story.

Now, where was I?

The details up until the day I arrived at the clinic are blurry. I honestly don’t remember making the call or figuring out where I was going to go. Somehow I knew that Planned Parenthood did abortions and that they didn’t require your parent’s permission. (Could it be the million-dollar marketing they target at teens?) It is very possible that I made him do all of the research, calling, etc. since it wasn’t what I wanted to do (that just sounds like something I would do)

I do recall sitting in the cubicle talking with one of the “counselors.” In retrospect, this is what makes me soooo angry. I recall the conversation for the most part…..this is basically how it went.

Counselor: “So, you are pregnant and don’t want to be. That is why you are here, right?”
Me: “Yes”
Counselor: “Are you aware of the options you have at this point?”
Me: “Yes” (even though I had NO clue, I just wanted to get outta there as quickly as possible)
Counselor: “And what option do you feel is best for you?”
Me: Eyes peeled to the ground, tears welling up inside….”abortion”.
Counselor: "It’s OK honey, I know this is hard but you need to do what is right for you. Does the father know?”
Me: “Yes, this was his idea.”
Counselor: “Is this what you want to do?”
Me: “I guess….I don’t really know what else I can do.”
Counselor: “Alright then, let’s set up an appointment. Who will be bringing you to the clinic?”
Me: “My boyfriend.”
Counselor: “OK, when you get here, you can park right next to the building in the spots closest to the front door. When you walk in you need to keep your head down and ignore the people at the end of the gate. They will try to entice you not to go forward with the procedure but what they will tell you are lies. Just do your best to pretend like they aren’t there”……. and the conversation continued with details about time and what to expect physically after the surgery, etc.

I don’t remember much after this….. the instructions about ignoring the people really frightened me and my mind raced elsewhere.

Can I just stop the story for a minute and discuss my frustrations with this? The lady never explained my options. When I said I knew what my options were she took my word for it and continued. This should not be allowed. They should be REQUIRED to walk you through each option available. I honestly believe (though I don’t want to take anything away from my responsibility in this) that if I had been given all the options that I would not have chosen abortion.

I also think they should be REQUIRED to reveal the exact procedure being performed. This in turn would require the mother to be privy to the fact that the child inside of her is already looking like a baby and has a beating heart. They should be required to tell you that the doctor will rip apart this child by its limbs and then suck its remains out with a vacuum. Did I know ANY of this? NO, NO, NO! I am angry that I was not told what they were going to do. I am angry that they fool MANY into choosing abortion.

If you were going in for knee surgery, would they not take x-rays, bring them into the exam room and show you what they saw? Wouldn’t they explain in detail the procedure they plan on performing so that you could make an informed decision? ABORTION is a secret because people don’t want to know the horrific details, they just want to be out of the situation they are in. Fewer people would choose this route if they were only informed! Our children deserve to know what an abortion really is BEFORE they are put in a position to have to make a decision about an unwanted pregnancy. (Though, for those of you who aren't aware, children are not the only ones having abortions. Single adults and even married women are as well.)

Case in point: I have a friend who also faced an unwanted pregnancy and she too chose to have an abortion. It was clear from the moment I was told that it was not up for discussion. After my abortion I ended up sharing with her that I had gone through the same thing. We ended up attending the same college. I will never forget one day I received a phone call from her telling me to stay away from the large grassy area in the middle of campus. She was FUMING. She could not believe that people had the audacity to put up a display of aborted babies. For whatever reason….I wanted to know. While I respected her viewpoint, I did not understand it. I was drawn to the exhibit. It was hard….very hard. For the FIRST time I was made aware of what my decision looked like in cold hard facts. I honestly remember telling myself that I had had my abortion long before the abortions depicted on the display; that I didn’t really have anything but tissue in there when I had the procedure.

I know now that I was wrong.

I was blinded by my desire to just get it over with….to return to a normal life. (Which NEVER happened, by the way)

Planned Parenthood has an agenda. Capitalize on the culture’s irresponsibility and carelessness. Abortions = HUGE Profits. They do NOT care about your well-being. (I realize that they are not the only ones who perform abortions but this is whom I can share about from experience.)

This is all I can handle at the moment. I shall continue the rest of the story soon.

Part IV


Jenna and Mosin Haider said...

You're strong Reagan. I have to admit, it was hard for me to read this, having gone through such a similar situation. BIGGG E-Hug!

Create Joy Custom Designs said...

I'm proud of you Reagan, and admire your strength. This is a difficult read...I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for you to write. Hang in there, friend, and know that you are loved big time. :)

Amy Farish said...

Reag, I love you so much. Your honesty and passion about your experience truly can help other young women. God is so faithful, and your obedience to share your story will not go unnoticed!

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