tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6691483186135216502024-03-13T13:14:03.210-05:00The Adventures of Baby Boy MartinReaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.comBlogger220125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-22436598017145988122011-04-08T23:38:00.003-05:002011-04-09T07:37:41.068-05:00Falling In Love With Jesus<h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="messageBody">God is truly amazing. He could not have orchestrated this evening any more perfectly! My little girl is falling in love with Jesus right before my eyes! : )</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}"><span class="messageBody"> <span style="font-size: small; font-weight: normal;">This was my Facebook status this evening. Several people have asked to hear the story behind the post.....</span></span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">Josh was given two tickets to the Nationwide race at Texas Motor Speedway for tonight. He found out last night & when he called to tell me he was so sweet & offered for me to take Spencer because "I never get to get out of the house." As thoughtful as that was, & as much as I would have LOVED to take him, I just didn't feel right about it. Josh doesn't get to spend much time with the kids & NEVER any time with them alone. Plus, Josh loves NASCAR.....so it was really a no-brainer.</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">I had a wonderful night with the other three. They were all really good for me; the weather was great & we all just played together in the backyard until bedtime. I put Syd to bed, then Sawyer & finally Sam. Sam is never one to just get up in her bed, stay there & go to sleep. She likes to know what's going on & make sure that we are still there. I think she is going through a stage where she is a little fearful at bedtime. I certainly remember that time in my childhood.</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">Tonight I just happened to be walking through the hall when she got to her door & we met there. My norm would be to put her back to bed with some irritation.....but I just really felt the Lord pressing upon my heart to take some additional time to let her know how much I loved her. We don't get much uninterrupted alone time. This is where God orchestrated things so beautifully. Typically Spencer is also up running around needing some more water or for me to tuck him in again or SOMETHING. Tonight it was just her & I. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">I knelt down, & told her how much I loved her & how precious she is & what things about her make her so special. I could tell that everything was going straight to her heart & she was soaking up the individual attention & specific praise she was getting. It made me a bit sad that I don't make it more of a priority to carve out more time alone with each child individually. (Although I do have to say that not all the time I spend alone with her is as precious as this time was.) It was obvious that the Spirit was really moving in both our hearts. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">She started playing with my hair & just sharing her heart as I shared mine. Just sweet mother daughter conversation. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">She finally sat down......I could tell that there was something stirring in her that she wanted to talk about, so I followed her lead & sat also.</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">We talked about how God is my Daddy & she talked about how everyone has 2 Daddy's.....one like Josh & God. We talked about how Mommy has to obey God just like she has to obey Daddy....& how if she does obey that her life will be better because Daddy knows what's best for her. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">We talked about how everyone does bad things & because we do bad things that we can't go to heaven to be with God. But that God sent Jesus to die on the cross & rise again so that, if we believe that & ask him to come into our hearts that we will get to go to heaven & live with God forever.</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">We talked about how God is bigger than everyone & everything & how she can't wait to get to heaven & see God......but that she doesn't want to go to heaven right now. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">We talked about how all the people that she loves that have Jesus in their hearts will be in heaven after they die & how we will all be together again. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">I think you get the picture......we really talked about alot of stuff.</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">Then she wanted to know more about how Jesus comes into your heart. I explained to her about the Holy Spirit & how we can feel it when he talks to us & we went through the basics of the gospel again. She told me that she felt Jesus speaking to her & when I asked her what he was saying, she said that he wanted to come into her heart & wanted her to be in heaven with him one day. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to walk through the "prayer of salvation." She was so excited when we got done! She overwhelmed me with joy! </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">We talked about how important reading the Bible & memorizing scriptures is. We talked about how she can talk to Jesus when she is scared or hurt. Etc, etc.....</span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">Whether or not she is truly saved, I honestly do not know. I can't know to what extent she truly understands that she is a sinner & that she needs Christ to save her. I can't know if the Holy Spirit is living inside her & convicting her heart.....<i>right now</i>.....though I do think that fruit will come, even at such an early age. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">What I do know is that she is falling in love with Jesus. I know that she is extremely interested in spiritual things & that she can offer up an innocent blind faith that I am not capable of doing. Not sure anything could be more exciting than that. </span></h6><h6 class="uiStreamMessage" data-ft="{"type":"msg"}" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="messageBody" style="font-size: small;">I love that little girl! She is amazing & such a huge inspiration in my walk! I am so blessed to have a child with such an amazing heart. </span></h6>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-48947847099616299762011-03-15T21:47:00.001-05:002011-03-15T21:56:42.069-05:00My BoyToday was a frustrating day.....one of many, actually. I am beginning to wonder if there is something more than just straight up two year old behavior going on. It just doesn't seem right. Maybe it is simply because I have so much else going on that this age seems more difficult......but I am really beginning to wonder.<br />
<br />
Spencer sets the mood of each day in this house.<br />
<br />
If he wakes up in a good mood the day is FANTASTIC in so many ways. The kids all get along.....the day flows smoothly from one thing to the next.....I spend quite a bit of time just hanging out with the kids, having fun......I rarely have to send someone to time-out.....he goes to sleep without getting up a hundred times.....<br />
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He is seriously an angel. He is thoughtful & loving. He is obedient. He likes to help & enjoys sharing. <br />
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If he wakes up in a bad mood, I can just go ahead, buckle down & prepare for a frustrating & exhausting day. The kids fight verbally as well as physically all day.......every time we try to do something I end up getting frustrated because Spencer is causing some kind of issue that ends up in total chaos, which in turn causes me to play with the others less because I know it will just be too much trouble to deal with Spencer, which in turn causes me to feel guilty over spending so little time with them that day.....he will be sent to (or drug to) time-out 8 billion times......he will get ANGRY & there are times that he literally frightens me......<br />
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I know this sounds ludicrous to put the mood of the whole house on the shoulders of a two year old but it is true. I have tried every way I know to get around this but the facts remain.<br />
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And if you don't know me, I run a fairly tight ship as far as a schedule goes.....at least the basics like eating & sleeping. I have considered that maybe it has to do with him not getting enough sleep but I have not noticed any correlation between his mood & a change in the schedule.<br />
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The days he is in a bad mood are just crazy. He is so aggressive.....to the point it seems he can't control himself.....like even when you think he is trying to be loving, it can so quickly turn into something else. He throws things, hits, pushes, screams......& these are not when he is mad......he is just doing it to do it.<br />
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He is so inconsiderate & disrespectful......to me & to the other kids.....& this isn't because he doesn't understand.....it's because he just doesn't care. ie. tonight he wanted me to get him some water but I was rocking Sydney to sleep. I told him I would get it as soon as I laid her down & he totally flipped out because he wanted it right then (which he wouldn't always do....alot of the time he would be totally okay with that answer). I went to lay Sydney down & he followed me in there, incessantly calling my name & asking for a drink. He not only woke Sydney up but Sawyer also. When I tried to tend to them, to get them back to sleep he just screamed & screamed because he wanted his water TRYING to irritate me by keeping them awake. It seems as if he can't process a different answer than the one he wanted. This is so different than a normal tantrum.....I wish I could explain it better.<br />
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He IGNORES me. This one makes me crazy but if I try to talk to him or tell him something he just completely ignores me. It is as if he doesn't even hear me. He is SOOO good at this.....to the point that I think he actually tunes me out. And again....this is unusual in the fact that it isn't always when he's into trouble. It's like he is so focused on A that B can't exist until his focus is broken.<br />
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He picks.....he picks at Sam, he picks at Sawyer. He does things with the express purpose of getting them riled up. <br />
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No matter what mood he is in, he is a cuddler & just plain sweet. He likes for us to touch him, hold him, hold his hand, rub his arm.....even if he is sitting in our lap. He will randomly come to me with a big smile wanting a hug & kiss.....just because......even if he was in trouble & angry with me 5 minutes earlier.<br />
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He is incredibly sensitive & gets his feelings hurt very easily. He takes most everything personal. He is so emotional & will run off crying & hide if he feels hurt (& sometimes the things he gets upset about seem so insignificant). He doesn't want you to console him.....he just has to take some time to be upset & then he just gets over it & is fine.<br />
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The difference in a good day vs a bad day....... Let's just use playdough....... If it's a good day the majority of the playdough stays on the table......he & Sam will sit there for a long time playing together, sharing & having fun.......when they are done the playdough is picked up & the tools put back in the box. If it's a bad day there will be playdough everywhere.......I will have to come in to the kitchen a zillion times to supervise the chaos because someone is screaming over someone not sharing or Spencer is throwing playdough or......when it comes time to pick up, Spencer will run away & if I ask him to help pick up he just refuses & joyfully goes to time-out instead. You get the picture.<br />
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I don't know......I'm just ready to be in control of my home again. I don't feel like any amount of discipline does any good. I don't feel like any amount of rewarding does any good. I don't feel like any amount of consistency in scheduling does any good. I have prayed & prayed for wisdom (& patience....which thankfully he has supplied in abundance). I am at a loss......Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-75805966132626494492011-03-09T22:20:00.002-06:002011-10-30T21:34:50.719-05:00"Busy At Home"- My Home Management Binder<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0653.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0653.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0634.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>So, I promised a post about my Home Management Binder like 2 years ago but I never got around to it. While reading my <a href="http://unsolicitedadvice-n-such.blogspot.com/p/oyol-organization.html">OYOL</a> blog, she asked anyone if they had ever used one & if they had blogged about it. This lit the fire again & so, here it is!<br />
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I must admit that I really love my binder. I made it <i><span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">purdy</span></i> so that I might actually use it & it has really helped! I have gone from a 2" binder to a big fat 3" binder though. I store a bunch of stuff in it.....but it is doing the job of my brain while the real one is taking a hiatus. It really helps to have a central place to put stuff. I new it was a winner when my husband asked me where the referral the doctor had written him (6 months earlier) was & I walked right to my binder, turned to his pouch & pulled it out!!!! Before the binder it would have been lost in one of the 50 piles that magically appear around my house.<br />
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I used many different sources when coming up with the perfect binder for my household. I will list a few at the end of the post if you are interested in building your own. <br />
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Without further ado......the contents of my binder.<br />
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Zipper Pouch<br />
<br />
<a href="http://shared.confessionsofahomeschooler.com/momstuff/AbidingMom.pdf">Super Mom vs Abiding Mom</a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0636.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0636.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
Family Divider-<br />
<ul><li>Clear sleeve for each member of the family. Put things like birthday invitations, doctor's notes, a running list of their personality, likes/dislikes, etc. at different points in their lives. Basically anything I want to keep for that person. Much of the time I will move the things in those sleeves over into their personal file but that is a good temporary place to keep things.</li>
<li>A sleeve for business cards, phone lists, etc. </li>
<li>My master address list.</li>
<li>A running list of random phone numbers/addresses.</li>
<li>Our medications (Name, RX #, Dosage, What pharmacy & a pharmacy phone #)</li>
<li>A list of accounts</li>
<li>My wish list</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0637.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0637.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Meals Divider- <br />
<ul><li><a href="http://littlenannygoat.blogspot.com/2009/05/what-heck-it-30-meal-plan.html">30 Meals Plan</a> master list </li>
<li>Menu plan blanks in a page protector</li>
<li>Fun ideas, random interesting food related articles</li>
<li>Coupon clipping information</li>
<li><a href="http://api.ning.com/files/vvA9GPTP2BJte1BUTfaTeBqHBZduMhP-cMdtc0IjVOurhV*ChDfcC6CVsEK1DhdXiYV8YS0rMEwj-H-GXOjpWuUsSKIk1A0r/pantrylist.pdf">Pantry Inventory</a> (which is still blank.....I keep thinking that if it stays in there it will eventually get done)</li>
<li>Menu planning information</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0638.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0638.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Schedules Divider- this section is completely out of date in my notebook. With so many kids being born in the past several years I just haven't gotten to a place where I have a consistent schedule to type up.<br />
<ul><li>My Daily To Do Checklist</li>
<li>My Daily Schedule</li>
<li>Scheduling articles</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0639.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0639.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Home Divider-<br />
<ul><li>Paint chips with the name of the room</li>
<li>Plumbing, cable etc. receipts</li>
<li>Organizational tips & tricks, articles, etc.</li>
<li>Decorating stuff</li>
<li>Cleaner recipes</li>
<li><a href="http://www.countrysave.com/stains.php">Stain removal guide</a></li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0652.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0652.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Calendar Divider- I could probably actually take this out now that I have a smart phone. I did use it before that time though. It just contained a monthly calendar that I printed from outlook.<br />
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Gardening Divider- This is one of those wishful thinking, for the future dividers. I would love to one day have a garden, so right now I am storing ideas, articles, tips, tricks, pictures, etc. Eventually, when I actually start the garden I plan to have my garden plan, my seed packets, my time journal, etc. included here.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0645.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0645.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
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To Do Divider-<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://simplemom.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/daily-docket.pdf">Daily Docket</a></li>
<li><a href="http://moneysavingmom.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Weekly-Goal-Planning-Sheet-blank-final.pdf">Weekly Goals</a></li>
<li><a href="http://simplemom.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/Weekly-Checklist.pdf">Master Cleaning List</a></li>
<li>Blog Topics List</li>
<li>Master Household Running To Do List</li>
<li>Any paperwork pertaining to something on my to do list</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0646.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0646.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Kids & Training Divider-<br />
<ul><li>Children's Bible study info</li>
<li><a href="http://www.duggarfamily.com/images/characterqualities.pdf">Character Qualities chart</a></li>
<li>Activities for kids</li>
<li>Developmental guidelines</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0647.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0647.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Holidays & Gift Giving Divider- <br />
<ul><li>Birthday planning pages</li>
<li>Christmas gift list</li>
<li>Holiday activities for kids</li>
<li>Advent list</li>
<li>Contents of gift closet</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0648.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0648.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Crafts, Sewing, Etc. Divider-<br />
<ul><li>Inspiration & ideas from magazines</li>
<li>Project list</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0649.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0649.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Faith & Ministry Divider-<br />
<ul><li>Prayer request list</li>
<li>Weekly prayer sheet</li>
<li>Handouts or sermon notes that don't really have another place</li>
<li>Ministry ideas</li>
<li>Mission newsletters</li>
</ul><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0650.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://i65.photobucket.com/albums/h222/reagan_martin/IMAG0650.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><br />
<ul></ul>Budget Divider-<br />
<ul><li><a href="http://www.daveramsey.com/media/pdf/fpu_monthly_cash_flow_plan_forms.pdf">Blank copy of the budget worksheet</a></li>
<li>Current budget we are using</li>
</ul>In the back are the 3 to a page photo sleeves where I will eventually (hehe) put all my 30 recipes & some blank notebook paper. <br />
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Resources:<br />
<br />
I use so much of <a href="http://www.simplemom.net/">Simple Mom's</a> stuff. I use many of her downloads & have printed many articles to put in my binder. She has a ton of great information on her site.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://simplemom.net/home-management-notebooks-are-a-great-idea/">This</a> is basically where I started & every idea I got branched off, in one way or another, from <a href="http://simplemom.net/home-management-notebooks-are-a-great-idea/">this</a> post.<br />
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Also, you can take a look at my <a href="http://pinterest.com/cornerstonelife/busy-at-home-binder/">Busy At Home</a> board on Pinterest for some additional resources.Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-44358969408589132352011-03-08T22:07:00.000-06:002011-03-08T22:07:30.876-06:00I love my job. I don't love the stress.I feel like I am being pulled in about 50 different directions. I've got a house who is screaming, clean me, fix me, stage me to sell. I've got a group of 11th grade girls that I need to contact every week & prepare a lesson for. I've got all kinds of home business; bills to pay, budgets to keep, menus to plan, groceries to get, doctors to visit etc. & most importantly I've got a 4 year old who loves to play with her Mommy & most likely has a love language of quality (& quantity) time. I've got a 2 year old who loves to cuddle but, more than that, is at an age that requires a ton of supervision. I've got a 2 year old who is so in love with his parents & wants them to hold him ALL. THE. TIME. & finally I've got a 3 month old who relies on her Mommy for her every need, who isn't sleeping & is struggling with eating, who is crying all the time & can't seem to get comfortable. & on top of that I have to find ways to make being a wife a top priority. ALL of these things are blessings in and of themselves. I am SOOO blessed to have all of these things in my life.....BUT I am running thin.....I am getting stressed.....I am shutting down. When I get to this point I seem unable to get ANYTHING done. I wish there were something I could remove from my life that is just "good" but not "great" but pretty much all these things are the bare minimum. And this doesn't include any time spent away from the house with friends or family; playdates, Bible studies, birthday parties, etc.<br />
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When my Mom shows up to my house or my friend stops by & the pile of laundry that was being folded on the couch is still sitting there.....in a perpetual state of in & out.....I know they wonder what in the world I do, that I can't even get my laundry folded & from the couch to its home. <br />
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I am having a hard time figuring out how to balance housework & selling preparations with spending time with my kids. I have heard over & over from Mom's that no longer have children in the home say that their biggest regret is not spending enough time with their kids.....& then what do they say?????......the laundry will wait, the dishes will still be there, etc. BUT, BUT, BUT......how LONG can you say that? As of right now, I have a schedule that cleans my house every 2 weeks. Nothing is ever clean at the same time & each room only gets cleaned once every 2 weeks......HOW CAN I DO ANY LESS THAN THAT?????<br />
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I know that things will get less hectic as the kids get older......in this way (& yes, I know.....more hectic in other ways) but what about right now? I can't just blow off the molding & shaping of my children's character because it's too hard to figure out. I can't just put teaching them their ABC's & 123's on hold because I don't have enough time to fit it in. & most of all I can't forget that their self confidence is being formed by my ability to show them love & express who they are in Christ.<br />
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To be really honest, I have put WAY to much time into stupid games on my phone & "bargain" shopping on the internet lately......it is what I do when I get overwhelmed. If I can just step out of this world, into another, I can forget my stress. In reality, it is my drug. It is my idol.....what takes me away from throwing myself into God & letting Him take care of things.<br />
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I know everything will be OK. I know that we will all live.....make it to the next day......but I want so much more than that. I want my children to thrive, I want my house to be put together, I want my bills to be payed on time, my couch to be clear, to be able to keep my grocery bill down, to be the go-to girl for my high school girls, to spend so much time with my kids that they remember me playing with them more than anything else......you get the picture. I want more than to just survive. Scripture says that anyone who is lacking wisdom can ask & it will be given to him. I am praying for wisdom. Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-6867732471862781692011-02-20T00:01:00.001-06:002011-02-20T00:01:01.462-06:00The BIG one!<div style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: x-large;"> 30</span></b></div><br />
Seriously......I can't imagine another birthday being as depressing as this one. Ya ya ya.....it's just a number.......You're only as old as you act.....blah blah blah. None of that means squat when you are facing the big 3-0! I just can't believe it's here. It makes me feel all grown up. Like a real adult. You would think having 4 kids would have taken care of that but it just hasn't. Sometimes I wake up & think, "am I really in charge of all these kids? Like, to not just take care of them but teach them about Jesus, & life & character & all that other important stuff? I always remember people like that having it all together & being so mature." Just doesn't feel real sometimes.<br />
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And then reality hits me like a freight train when I look in the mirror & see that gravity has already left its pretty little imprint on my body. THIS my dear friends is not a happy realization. But, I then remind myself that beauty is fleeting & a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. And I am able to rejoice once again!<br />
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I feel so blessed, at the age of 30, to have all that I do. To God be the glory!<br />
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I attended The Great Marriage Experience this weekend at my church. It was good......but even before I have had much time to process all that was taught, it was such a huge affirmation of where God has taken Josh & I over the past 7 years. <br />
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I think it would be safe to tell you that Josh & I had a very rocky first 5 years of marriage. There were several instances where I honestly didn't think the marriage was going to make it. Close family & my best friends could certainly testify to the fact that we did not have a "good" marriage. <br />
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Thankfully, the bad has turned to good as a supernatural transformation of our marriage has taken place. I was AMAZED when the speakers went through things that we should be doing to have a great, lasting marriage & we were already doing SOOO many of them. God has sooo blessed our marriage & I am just so grateful for a wonderful, teachable, loving husband who has humbled his heart before the Lord.<br />
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On my 30th birthday I will celebrate a wonderful marriage & an amazing husband. I will celebrate 4 incredible children who fill my life with joy. I will celebrate awesome parents who have been such a HUGE blessing in my life & to whom I am so grateful for the example of perseverance. I will celebrate a group of friends that I can share my heart with & do life with. And finally, and most importantly I will celebrate the fact that 10 years ago Christ came into my life & turned it upside down & inside out & that he now resides in my heart & is Lord over my life! Hallelujah!<br />
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I am truly truly blessed on this 30th birthday!<br />
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Happy Birthday to me!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-66323776958687606052011-01-14T22:15:00.002-06:002011-01-14T22:27:50.953-06:00Sydney Jane Martin<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS8rj1917JI/AAAAAAAADRw/tv4ycM46NaQ/s1600/20.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="216" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS8rj1917JI/AAAAAAAADRw/tv4ycM46NaQ/s320/20.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS_NKdTKVMI/AAAAAAAADR4/jdxmJjc7hdU/s1600/DSC_0626.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; cssfloat: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sydney Jane Martin</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">November 21, 2010 @ 8:35 pm</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">7lbs 12 oz, 18 1/2 inches</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>My unexpected, scared out of my ever lovin' mind, 4th child in 4 years! My little ball of sunshine! As I have with the others, I am sharing her birth story! <br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I honestly thought I would fly right through this pregnancy without any problems (I know, I know, what was I thinking?). I made it further than the last time without bed rest, but it came inevitably. Mom was a CHAMP...once again! I couldn't have done it without her! She stayed at the house while J was out of town & was completely exhausted but somehow made it through!</div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I was officially taken off bed rest Thursday, November 18th. I stopped my meds the day before & went back to life as normal.....well, not exactly.....I was completely uncomfortable in a thousand different ways but I was officially allowed to resume normal pregnancy activity.</div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Saturday, November 21st was my nephew Carson's birthday. We didn't have much going on that day.....we were pretty lazy actually. Josh was more than excited that I was off bedrest, if you know what I mean. So, we had a nap date! Apparently the last doctor was right when he told us that there was only one thing he knew of that could truly induce labor. I honestly thought all those things...walking, baths, sex, etc.....were nonsense since we had tried them all several times with the other 3 to no avail. Clearly I was mistaken.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>Carson had a party planned for that afternoon at Chuck E Cheese from 4-6. About 3 o'clock I started having pretty heavy contractions but they were very inconsistent. This was nothing new & I just assumed that the "interaction" had irritated my uterus & got the contractions going. As I was getting the kids ready for the party I started to wonder if I was really in labor. I just had some inkling that this was it (although doubt loomed large because of all the false labor previously). I hesitantly made my way to the back & started packing my bags to take to the hospital. I wanted to be 100% sure because I didn't want to totally ruin Carson's party. As we were loading the kids into the car I told Josh I was bringing the hospital bag, to which he replied, "Oh, I doubt this is it. If we need to, we can just run back by here & get it. If you bring it, it will just jinx it." Thankfully, I didn't listen to him this time & threw the bags into the back of the Burb. <br />
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We headed out & when we got there I immediately had to sit down. I was exhausted & the contractions were picking up in intensity. After sitting for a bit they seemed to die back down & I thought it must just be false labor. But it wasn't long before I was having to focus through the contractions & decided it would be smart to start timing them. After 30-45 minutes of them coming fairly regularly I decided we needed to head to the hospital. I was embarrassed, disappointed & felt horrible for crashing the party but I was also TERRIFIED of waiting too long & delivering in the car or something crazy like that. So, Dad took Spencer & Sawyer back to our house & Samara stayed with Aunt Kacey while Josh, Mom & I headed to Baylor All Saints. I remember glancing at the clock when we left & it was 5:18pm.<br />
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Things were much less chaotic this time around. It took FOREVER to get me checked in & on the monitor. I was only 5 cm dilated when she finally checked my cervix (which isn't very far along for me but enough to be admitted) so things did not move nearly as fast as they did with Sawyer. I actually stayed in triage for about an hour while they got me admitted & monitored me. <br />
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I had not decided for certain whether or not I was going to have an epidural prior to coming to the hospital. I wanted to be strong & do it without because I knew my labor would be short but I also DID NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH ALL THAT PAIN AGAIN! I am not big on pain & I didn't go through any natural child birthing classes or anything. I had an epidural with the first two & they were both pleasant experiences. Josh wanted me to get an epidural if at all possible. I figured I would just see how things went & honestly I thought I would end up getting one. I remembered them offering me pain medication with Sawyer when I refused the epidural so I figured that would be an option as well. <br />
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When the triage nurse asked me if she needed to call the anesthesiologist I told her "no"......I kind of surprised myself, ha! She asked if I wanted any medication & I told her sure, that I was not opposed to medication. When she told my L&D nurse I wanted some IV meds, she baulked.....thankfully. She told me that they just make you really groggy & in a fog. Um, no thank you! I was so grateful she told me instead of just assuming I knew what they would do. So it was all me!!!! Ahhhh! I was scared....not gonna lie!<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Sue, my midwife, checked me again once I got into my delivery room & I had only progressed to 6cm. I wasn't progressing super fast so she asked me if I wanted her to break my water. Sure, why not! Though I really didn't want her to because I knew my contractions would hurt much worse.....but that was coming sooner or later anyway. I completely forgot in this process that the paranatologist told me I had excess amniotic fluid. Wow people....this is not something you want to forget! It was insane! I definitely should have warned the nurse! She might have had a boat handy to help her outta there!<br />
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It was a only a short time before I really started hurting but Suzanne was an AWESOME nurse & hooked me up with a birthing ball. Josh thought this was hilarious! And I <span style="font-size: x-large;">did</span> <span style="font-size: x-large;">not</span> <span style="font-size: x-large;">care</span> because it was such a huge help for me! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS_N2kdQBeI/AAAAAAAADR8/W2QdZQ_Hws8/s1600/DSC_0628.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS_N2kdQBeI/AAAAAAAADR8/W2QdZQ_Hws8/s320/DSC_0628.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The birthing ball!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS_Oj7VCGUI/AAAAAAAADSA/PP30zVO0YHY/s1600/DSC_0629.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS_Oj7VCGUI/AAAAAAAADSA/PP30zVO0YHY/s320/DSC_0629.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here I am on the ball! </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTCxVQPr37I/AAAAAAAADSs/d7dzUkmJUIM/s1600/DSC_0633.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTCxVQPr37I/AAAAAAAADSs/d7dzUkmJUIM/s320/DSC_0633.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">And here I am actually USING the ball.....</td></tr>
</tbody></table> About 8:20 I told them I had the urge to push so the nurse got me up on the bed, prepped the room & Sue checked me again. A 7....<strong><span style="font-size: large;">ONLY A 7</span></strong>! I seriously wanted to die....I thought, "this can't be happening."......I just <em>knew</em> I had to be close! I honestly thought that I would be able to start pushing. It was such a huge bummer to hear I was only at a 7. I'm sure she could feel my disappointment because she told me to give it just a little longer, that things would probably progress quickly.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDF3NvD30I/AAAAAAAADTo/Yc7qhJUaui4/s1600/DSC_0638.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDF3NvD30I/AAAAAAAADTo/Yc7qhJUaui4/s320/DSC_0638.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Breathe Reagan breathe!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">The next contraction I really had the urge to push & I told the nurse, <span style="font-size: large;">"she's coming, I know she is."</span> She rushed out of the room as I was pushing. </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDGMN6XWKI/AAAAAAAADTs/14Vt--qZwt0/s1600/DSC_0640.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDGMN6XWKI/AAAAAAAADTs/14Vt--qZwt0/s320/DSC_0640.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div>I told my Mom that I couldn't stop & she reassured me that it was OK. A few seconds later Sue rushed back into the room. The nursed asked if she was coming & Sue told her, "yes." Sue was trying to calm me, telling me to breathe & let her get her stuff on. Oh! So hard not to push but I did a MUCH better job this time! It's quite funny actually because it felt like an eternity when I was trying not to push....I kept thinking, "what the heck is taking her so long?" But when I went back to look at the video I was surprised to see how fast it all went! She quickly got all her gear on & I pushed Miss Sydney out! <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDGg6W55vI/AAAAAAAADTw/1_hYBk_aHCk/s1600/DSC_0645.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDGg6W55vI/AAAAAAAADTw/1_hYBk_aHCk/s320/DSC_0645.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Haha! Every time I look at these pictures it makes me laugh. It looks like soap opera drama. But let's be clear.....THIS WAS FOR REAL!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>It took me 3 minutes to go from a 7 to delivery!!!! They immediately put her on my chest which was wonderful! That was a first for me & I feel so blessed I got to experience that! <br />
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<tr><td style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDJB0HYkOI/AAAAAAAADT4/-bEbTtR6qQM/s1600/DSC_0660.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDJB0HYkOI/AAAAAAAADT4/-bEbTtR6qQM/s320/DSC_0660.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yuck! Did anyone elses kids look like this when they were born? She was covered in this nasty white stuff......none of my other kids were like that!</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDJVrcBcwI/AAAAAAAADT8/8DVHNP1RyjA/s1600/DSC_0680.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDJVrcBcwI/AAAAAAAADT8/8DVHNP1RyjA/s320/DSC_0680.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sweet baby girl.....so nice to finally meet you!</td></tr>
</tbody></table> Actually, she had a really short cord so they cut it before they put her on me. It was so cool because my <span style="font-size: large;">Mom</span> was there for this delivery & she <span style="font-size: large;">got to cut the cord</span>. <br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDI02W8O8I/AAAAAAAADT0/L7CgTclvLVA/s1600/DSC_0653.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDI02W8O8I/AAAAAAAADT0/L7CgTclvLVA/s320/DSC_0653.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love, love, love this picture! Doesn't Mom look so excited!?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>J has never had any desire to do that but my Mom was super excited about getting to. She had no idea she was going to but when Sue asked J if he wanted to & he said "no", Mom asked if she could do it! It was a sweet moment for me, especially considering all Mom had done for us! <br />
After Sue delivered her she kept saying, "Wow, <span style="font-size: large;">she's so big</span>"...."Oh my gosh, she's a big baby"....."I had no idea this baby was going to be so big." She didn't end up weighing as much as they expected but she was certainly my biggest yet.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDJpo6JowI/AAAAAAAADUA/kqj1Xgl4OPQ/s1600/DSC_0687.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDJpo6JowI/AAAAAAAADUA/kqj1Xgl4OPQ/s320/DSC_0687.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
A sweet moment that I am so very proud of.....When I was close to delivering, the nurse said, "This really feels like a <span style="font-size: large;">first baby</span>. Usually by the fourth baby they don't even bring a camera & there certainly aren't all the visitors (Josh's parents & Joey & Melissa were there)! <span style="font-size: large;">Oh how that made my heart smile!</span> I pray that I can love ALL my babies as if they were the first. Children are not a burden in my home!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDO11G17wI/AAAAAAAADUI/B8zzMb1SpJo/s1600/DSC_0706.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDO11G17wI/AAAAAAAADUI/B8zzMb1SpJo/s320/DSC_0706.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Oh....& did anyone catch that my midwife & my nurse <span style="font-size: large;">both had "S" names</span>!?<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDFl9AlqXI/AAAAAAAADTk/3pqkItaW8ow/s1600/DSC_0627.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDFl9AlqXI/AAAAAAAADTk/3pqkItaW8ow/s320/DSC_0627.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Also, just have to mention that Sawyer & one of my nephews share a birthday & now Sydney shares a birthday with another one of my nephews! </div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">And can't go without saying what an ENORMOUS<span style="font-size: large;"> blessing</span> it has been to have Josh home for every. single. birth.....could have been so different with him out of town so much!<br />
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Here are just a few more pictures.....<br />
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<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTEZ2AIOl1I/AAAAAAAADU4/MbLcD_3iRwY/s1600/DSC_0769.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTEZ2AIOl1I/AAAAAAAADU4/MbLcD_3iRwY/s320/DSC_0769.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTEaign7qTI/AAAAAAAADU8/VKvpHCBxQiI/s1600/DSC_0773.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTEaign7qTI/AAAAAAAADU8/VKvpHCBxQiI/s320/DSC_0773.JPG" width="212" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">Trust me, I know there are some out there wondering if we are ever going to end this madness.....you will be happy to know that J had a vasectomy & is OFFICIALLY shooting <span style="font-size: large;">blanks</span>.</div></div><div style="text-align: right;"></div> <br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><img height="63" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TTDPMxA3k1I/AAAAAAAADUM/DmeXcoGMyQ8/s320/DSC_0712.JPG" style="filter: alpha(opacity=30); left: 216px; mozopacity: 0.3; opacity: 0.3; position: absolute; top: 6344px; visibility: hidden;" width="96" /> <br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-42605145138015877222011-01-13T15:29:00.001-06:002011-01-13T15:47:38.245-06:00A Candid LookI ran across something very interesting. <br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I mentioned <a href="http://theadventuresofbabyboymartin.blogspot.com/2011/01/toys-galore.html">previously</a> about packing up my "memory" chest. What I ran across is actually something I believe the hand of God placed in that chest supernaturally. If you have read <a href="http://theadventuresofbabyboymartin.blogspot.com/2010/08/my-story.html">my story</a> you might remember me mentioning that I threw away all my journals from before I became a Christian. I'm not sure if these papers fell out of something or if they were just tucked away in between books but as I was pulling everything out, a stack of papers, folded in half fell out onto the floor of the chest. It was clearly a handful of papers that had been torn from a spiral bound notebook because the tattered edges remained.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">My life before I knew the Lord. That is what lay in my hands.</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">It was not pretty. Gut wrenching actually.</div><br />
This was for real. This was not some fiction novel I was writing. These were my feelings, raw & uncensored.<br />
<br />
I want to share some of what I found with you. I think it's important for people to see inside the head of a teenage girl who grew up in a great family but didn't know the Lord. Just consider as you read this that someone you might know might be feeling the very same way. Don't forget that you never really know what is going on with someone. Don't forget that you have an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life.<br />
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<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">*I am posting what was written in my journal & sometimes my language is foul. I apologize ahead of time but I didn't want to leave it out because I feel that it would take away from the reality of the situation.*</div><br />
<i>Jan 31, 1999</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><i>I don't know what to do, or what to think. Just tonight (my boyfriend) & I got into a semi-fight because I had one of my little self-esteem fits again. He doesn't understand so I just pretend like nothing's wrong. It's so hard. I can't decide if it's (my boyfriend) or the fact that I'm <u>so</u> f**cked up! It just seems to trigger when I'm with him because I'm not as pretty or "mature" as everyone else. He pulls that sh*t on me all the time! I really don't know what it is that makes me feel like sh*t, but every time we go out, that is how I feel on the way home! I feel like I am always having to compete against someone or something. I don't know. I thought maybe joining a church, reading the bible would give me something to fit into, but I just feel like an outcast there also. It's like if I kill myself I'm hurting all these other people & I don't want that. I would never want anyone to be hurt because of my actions. So what is the answer? Going on with the rest of my life being constantly depressed, worrying about everything, being treated like sh*t, not being anything in life but taking up space. Nothing is ever right for me, I don't know what would make things change anytime soon. I don't even know what I want because I don't know what it is you have to have to feel special. I wish I could forget about everything & have fun in life, but it's just not that easy. I'm too busy worrying about pleasing everybody else to worry about myself. I don't know what it is that all those other girls have, but I wish I could borrow some. I'll never be pretty enough, skinny enough, rich enough, anything. So what is it I am supposed to do to build up this self esteem thing? I don't have anything to strive for, I'm not good enough at anything to be somebody. It's so hard for people to understand how I feel, but what am I supposed to do? It's easy to pretend nothing is wrong because I do it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. So when does the time come that I don't have to pretend anymore?</i></div><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">And there it is people. I'm not saying that every teenage girl feels this way. I just wanted to share who I was. There is a VAST difference in who I am today & it is only because of the Lord. The darkness you feel here is not a short period of depression.....this was my life.....& the only thing that changed was Christ coming into my heart. Does this give you a desire to share his goodness? It certainly does me. I don't share Him enough. He transformed my life!</div> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS9yfOGXRyI/AAAAAAAADR0/ZzVNktKKguI/s1600/prom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" n4="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS9yfOGXRyI/AAAAAAAADR0/ZzVNktKKguI/s320/prom.jpg" width="196" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This was right around the time of the entries. Do I look like I have anything to worry about? Boy what I would give to look like that again!</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">There was one more entry that I found quite interesting.</div><br />
My brain feels like a brain on drugs. I remember VERY little. I have a difficult time remembering to get my daughter something to drink when she has asked me only 5 minutes earlier so the rest of my life is pretty much a blur. I have often wondered what I thought of God before I knew him. I wondered if I even thought about it or what I thought about the "Christians" at school or if I even gave it all a second thought. This entry answered some of those questions, at least at this point in my life. As you will see, this was 9 months later & I was still struggling with the same things.<br />
<br />
<i>October 15, 1999</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>I wish I knew how to have all the confidence in the world. I envy Shelby <u>so</u> much sometimes. She is so confident in herself. There is no one that could break her down. I just don't understand! I <u>don't</u> <u>know</u> <u>how </u>to have that. People that are confident in themselves do not understand what it's like to be someone like me. They take for granted that they are happy with their life. The worst part about the whole things is, I am terrified to have children. What if they turn out to have the same problems I do? Those poor babies, I could never wish it upon anyone. I think it has to be worse than being blind or deaf, or having cancer, because at least those people care if they live or die! The have something to look forward to even after they die, & what do I have? I don't have any idea, because I am completely uneducated in religion! Do you go anywhere if you don't know if you believe? I'm sure that question will remain unanswered because no matter how many times I have tried, have asked, have wanted to learn, it just hasn't happened. How are you supposed to believe when you don't know how? How are you supposed to ask for help when you don't know how to pray? It's so amazing all the things that are running through my head. It seems like I go through the same thoughts & questions day after day.</i><br />
<br />
It's obvious that I wrestled with the bigger questions about life but I always came up empty handed. I think the term "lost" for those who aren't saved is a perfect description. I was LOST. It wasn't that I didn't want to find my way, I did....desperately. It was simply that I didn't know which way to turn or where to look. Thankfully a little over a year later the Lord CHASED ME DOWN! <br />
<br />
I honestly feel like the Lord kept telling me to post this. My flesh did not want people to see this part of me....even if it was a long time ago. I believe that someone needed to read this. If that someone was you, please feel free to contact me. reagan_martin @ sbcglobal.net (minus the spaces).<br />
<div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none; clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-21710633376363386122011-01-13T09:53:00.002-06:002011-01-13T10:09:18.712-06:00Toys Galore<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, in all of this organizing business I ran across a </span><a href="http://orgjunkie.com/2011/01/52-weeks-of-organizing.html"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">website</span></a><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> that is challenging everyone to pick out <span style="font-size: large;">52</span> things you could do to <span style="font-size: large;">organize</span> your home & do one of those things each week for the next year. I initially thought that was <span style="font-size: large;">ridiculous</span> because she suggested breaking big tasks down over several weeks.....such as cleaning/organizing a drawer rather than the whole bathroom. Though, after thinking it through I realized that it was a <span style="font-size: large;">brilliant</span> idea. I'm pretty sure I can think of a dozen things that needed cleaning/organizing <span style="font-size: large;">LAST</span> year that I thought, I can't wait 6 months to do this, it needs to be done now & yet a year has past & it <span style="font-size: large;">never got done</span>. The house remains in the same condition because I didn't have <span style="font-size: large;">a plan</span> in place & I simply did whatever it took just to keep up each day. Another year rolls around & the same old things are on the to-do list. So, I am breaking those things down & tackling them over the course of the year.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS8flu3P_oI/AAAAAAAADRs/YyfGDQ0l3Gg/s1600/memory+chest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="cssfloat: left; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="216" n4="true" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS8flu3P_oI/AAAAAAAADRs/YyfGDQ0l3Gg/s320/memory+chest.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I suppose I am actually starting with Week #2 because I just learned of the challenge yesterday. First on my list was to take my <span style="font-size: large;">"memory" chest</span> that my grandfather handmade for <span style="font-size: large;">me</span> & repurpose it into a <span style="font-size: large;">toy chest</span>. We are in desperate need of some toy storage in our living room. We have tried so many different things in there & haven't found anything that really works & looks decent. At the same time we are running out of room in our bedroom since it has become the bedroom, craft room, home office & temporary baby room.....so we figured this would be a good switch. </span><br />
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</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So today I packed up all the "memories" to put into the attic & moved the chest into the living room. We filled it up & the kids thoroughly enjoyed digging around, finding toys they hadn't seen in a week or two. I think <span style="font-size: large;">I like it</span>. It is quite large & I'm not sure there is really enough space where it's at but I like it better than what was going on in there before.</span>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-54385552284332241222011-01-11T20:53:00.000-06:002011-01-11T20:53:38.853-06:00Back to the BasicsSo, on to week two of this <a href="http://unsolicitedadvice-n-such.blogspot.com/2011/01/one-year-to-more-organized-life-week_09.html">OYOL</a>. She suggests that we should figure out the bare minimum that needs to get done each day & post those things in a prominent place. <div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"><br />
</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">I actually have something very similar to the worksheet she offers already in place. I have an index card box that I have divided into several different categories.....Everyday, Daily, Weekly, Monthly, Seasonally, Twice a Year & Annually. At this point I just need to implement that which I have written out. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS0XNC3V1rI/AAAAAAAADRI/PzP_R9Kwj1Q/s1600/IMAG0326.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TS0XNC3V1rI/AAAAAAAADRI/PzP_R9Kwj1Q/s320/IMAG0326.jpg" width="191" /></a></div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;">My everyday tab has things like put away dishes, 2 loads of laundry, sweep kitchen, bedtime pickup, etc. I do think I am going to add some of the things that are even more basic that I somehow keep forgetting like brushing the kids teeth, bathing them & making sure they take their vitamins. </div><br />
Yes, I realize those things should just happen daily but somehow the day will come & go & I will have somehow missed getting those things done. I will think about having the kids brush their teeth but about that time Sydney will start screaming or Sawyer will need immediate help with something & I just won't ever get back around to helping them get it done. As far as bathing goes....the reality is that I just hate it. Finding a time when both girls are awake, Sydney's not eating & I'm not fixing someones breakfast, lunch or dinner has been a challenge in itself. Then trying to keep the boys occupied & out of the way while the girls get their bath is difficult & fielding Sam's 10,000 questions & taunts from the sidelines while bathing the boys just gets frustrating. Sometimes I have Sam take a shower with me but then it seems like Syd doesn't end up getting a bath until the next round of girl baths!!!! If J were home every night baths would not be such a daunting task but the reality is, he's not there 4 nights out of the week. If only they could go without a bath those 4 nights! <br />
<br />
I could even add "get the kids dressed" to my basics but then I would just feel guilty that I didn't do it & frankly dressing the kids on a day I know we aren't going anywhere just seems counterproductive seeing as I have a hard enough time keeping up with the laundry as it is! (Mom, just hush it)<br />
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I'm thinking I might write out a basic daily do-or-die with check boxes, laminate it & put it on the kitchen counter so I can mark off things as I do them. Simply remembering has been an issue as well.....have the kids brushed their teeth today?....no, that had to have been yesterday......or maybe even the day before.....<br />
<br />
My goal this week is to get the bare bones done each day.....& the rest....well, lets hope it happens in time.Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-13630504177673886342011-01-07T14:53:00.002-06:002011-01-10T20:59:11.128-06:00My PurposeMy "One Year to a More Organized Life" homework for the week? My purpose. This is the million dollar question. What is the purpose of me becoming more organized? Here is what I have come up with....<br />
<br />
-<b>To remove myself from solitude</b>- A very timely <a href="http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/01/lonely-in-families.html">devotion</a> hit my inbox this morning. The writer is a mother of 6 & is a self-proclaimed loner. She told how she felt that God had placed her in such a large family to stretch her natural tendency to spend her time in solitude. As she points out, you can't be very effective for Christ if you live in solitude. When I get overwhelmed, I find myself doing one of several things....zoning out, getting consumed by the internet, or enveloping myself in some sort of craft. All of these are time wasters & seriously eat away at valuable time. <br />
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-<b>To be a better steward of the things God has blessed us with</b>. Ie. my kids got a new water toy during the summer & only a couple of days later I found it destroyed because someone had run over it with the four wheeler. Things are also simply left out to be destroyed by the wind or rain, etc. One would look in from the outside & simply say that we are unappreciative.<br />
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-<b>I want my children to grow up & say they had a wonderful Mom</b> who was calm, took time to play with them, made them feel loved, & kept their home so that they wanted to invite their friends over & their friends enjoyed being there.<br />
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-<b>I want my husband to come home from a long week & be able to relax</b> in a clean, organized home. This is extra important for us because my husband has ADHD & frequently loses things WITHOUT the chaos of a disorderly home.<br />
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-<b>I want to be able to use the school supplies I have spent time & money on</b> to teach Samara at home.<br />
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-<b>I want my children to grow up in a home that glorifies God</b> & is centered around Him. I want them to learn about his character day in & day out & fall in love with Him. God is a God of order, not of chaos & I want our home to be a reflection of who He is.<br />
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-<b>I want to be able to be hospitable at any given moment</b> without being utterly embarrased by the state of my home. <br />
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-<b>I want to improve the hygiene of our home</b>. (I want to bathe, wash my face, brush my teeth & put on makeup at LEAST every other day....although I would really like this to happen everyday) (I want to make sure the kids are bathed every other day & their teeth are brushed(& Sam's flossed) daily....although I would like for this to happen twice a day)<br />
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-<b>I want to grow in my relationship with Christ</b>....a daily quiet time & pouring out what God is putting in.<br />
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- <strong>I want to parent intentionally</strong>. I am tired of just letting each day wander by. I don't want to forget that, whether I like it or not, my kids are learning about God every waking moment by MY actions....or inactions.Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-51587574729161079572011-01-07T09:32:00.001-06:002011-01-07T14:56:47.960-06:00A New YearSo, this has been much anticipated on my part. I have been yearning to blog. Every hour I will have a blog post pop into my head but it quickly gets written off. I have gotten so accustomed to using my phone for all my Internet needs that it makes it very difficult to get out my computer, plug it into the Ethernet cable & post. I want so badly to blog so I am going to try once again to find the time to make it happen. Now that Sydney is sleeping good I am hoping to be able to get on a more regulated sleep schedule, which will hopefully allow for time to do stuff like this.<br />
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I first want to take an opportunity to say how blessed I am. I honestly thought it would be YEARS before I would enjoy being a Mom of four. I just thought I would be way too stressed & sleep deprived to enjoy life. I honestly thought I would just be doing whatever it took to "get by." I was WRONG & I couldn't be happier about that. It has been wonderful! I have so enjoyed having Sydney. It is possible that I have spent time relishing her tininess because I know I won't be enjoying it again....at least for a long time. Don't get me wrong....it hasn't all been peachy....but are things always peachy when you only have one....or even none for that matter? Nope.....at least not in my experience. The reality for me right now is that my 2 year old is my biggest challenge......& my small house that creates problems that I would not otherwise have.<br />
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This being a new year, I have taken some time to reflect on the past year & I am painfully aware of some much needed changes. I am a pretty reflective person so it's not like I don't do this weekly, sometimes daily but I have been given some accountability with a <a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_223296892">blog</a> I recently ran across. This <a href="http://unsolicitedadvice-n-such.blogspot.com/2011/01/introduction-to-oyol.html">blog</a> is written by a Mom of 4 in 5 years so she deals with many of the same things I do. I was excited to run across it & have been encouraged by her honesty of what life can be like with four young children. Her goal for 2011 is to get her life organized by the end of the year....to fulfill <a href="http://unsolicitedadvice-n-such.blogspot.com/2011/01/finding-my-purpose.html">her purpose</a>. I want that very same thing & intend to take this journey with her.Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-39762014214402239152010-11-03T15:05:00.001-05:002010-11-03T15:05:52.784-05:00Pregnancy UpdateSo, I had an appt with the high risk specialist on Monday. My Mom & my Aunt went with me. My Mom doesn't think I should be driving & my Aunt just happened to be in town & had never seen a sonogram. <br />
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I was taken a little by surprise by what was discovered.<br />
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First of all, they didn't even do a transvaginal sono to measure my cervix so I'm not really sure why I went. BUT, the external sonogram ended up revealing another issue! Surprise, surprise! I have excessive amniotic fluid & the baby is apparently growing excessively. A baby should be approximately 5 lbs 4oz at this time & they were measuring the baby at 6 lbs 12 oz. Since I normally have small babies (the biggest was 7 lbs 4 oz) they seemed a bit concerned.<br />
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They put me on the fetal monitor just to be sure the baby was fine.....she was. The doctor said that the glucose test given at 28 weeks to check for gestational diabetes is only 95% accurate & she thinks I am in the other 5%. She told me to change my diet to that of a diabetic & wanted to see me back in 1 week.<br />
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Personally I don't think I have gestational diabetes. I thought it sounded a little fishy when I was at the appointment but I went with it because she didn't act like she had an alternative explanation. I tend to think that I got the Sunday School Big Baby curse : ) No, I really have no idea what is going on. When I researched gestational diabetes there were several clues to the disease.....none of which I have. One of the clues is sugar in your urine....never been a problem. Some symptoms are excessive hunger or thirst, frequent urination, frequent vaginal infections, excessive weight gain......none of which I have. <br />
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Some weird stuff going on that no one seems to have any viable answers for. Please pray for my health & that of the baby.<br />
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By the way.....my Mom is a hoot watching the sono. She has NO clue what she is looking at. I am pretty good at picking stuff out now but Mom thinks I'm just making it up......it's pretty funny!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-36073319694193674012010-10-30T18:32:00.001-05:002010-10-30T18:39:33.093-05:00Spencer drama!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TMysjn31urI/AAAAAAAADMo/UMW5ryPMQ0w/s1600/DSC_0226.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" nx="true" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TMysjn31urI/AAAAAAAADMo/UMW5ryPMQ0w/s320/DSC_0226.JPG" width="212" /></a></div>Mister all-boy-2-year-old scared the begebees out of J & I this summer. Pretty sure I have never been <em>that</em> scared since becoming a parent. This is where the Martin drama begins.....<br />
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It was a hot summer day, like any other. J was home. He was so excited about buying the kids a slide & couldn't wait to get in the backyard & set it up for them. He brought it around to the back as the 3 kids played outside while he worked. Sawyer was up in his swing because he was still only crawling but the other 2 were playing in the sand & riding the 4-wheeler. <br />
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I was inside doing something.....couldn't tell you what....I'm sure cleaning. I noticed Josh come in & go back to the bedroom to change clothes. Just minutes later he went back out but this time he went out front. It only took him a minute & he was back in, running to the backyard. As he comes back in the door he says "Oh crap" & rushes out front again. He ran out to the street looking around & yelling for Spencer, but got no answer. <br />
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By this time I am realizing what is going & am beginning to freak out. Josh tells me he is on the 4-wheeler but he doesn't see him. He starts to run down the street but when he gets to the end he still can't see him. At this time, I ran to the backyard to make sure Sam & Sawyer were OK & that Sam wasn't going anywhere. I ran out the front door & down the street in the opposite direction, screaming his name at the top of my lungs. <br />
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It was like something from the movies......that frantic screaming & crying, begging God for help! I got to the cross-street & didn't see him anywhere. I can't tell you the last time I ran anywhere.....much less, without any shoes on a burning blacktop. It was clear that I was worthless on foot so I ran back to the house. I got down in Sam's face & explained that Spencer was missing & Mommy & Daddy had to go look for him.....then I threatened her with her life & locked her inside.<br />
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I got my keys, jumped in the truck & immediately dialed 9-1-1.<br />
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I guess you could say I was hysterical at this point......every awful thing that could possibly happen to him, racing through my mind. I went down the street & around the next block while I am relaying info to the dispatcher. I never saw him. As I headed back up the street she asked if I was sure he wasn't at the house, just hiding or something.<br />
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By this time, I thought I ought to head back to the house to see if J had found him. As I rounded the corner I thought I saw the 4-wheeler in the front yard. As I got closer to the house I yelled, "the 4-wheeler is in the front yard.......it's by the front door......the 4-wheeler is here!!!!!!!!!!" The dispatcher asked, "Are you sure? Are you sure he is there?" I flew into the driveway, threw open the door & ran inside yelling, "is he here? is Spencer here?" <br />
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I have no idea where Josh was but Samara said, "yes, he's in his room."<br />
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Wow! A rush of relief & frustration!<br />
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I told the dispatcher but it wasn't 2 minutes later that the police were knocking on our front door asking to see him. I guess they can't just take your word for it. He was adamant that they see him. They talked to him for a bit, making sure he heard from someone besides his parents that he better not do anything like that ever again!<br />
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So, Josh found him at the far end of our street on the cross street in someones driveway. Thankfully a woman stopped him & kept him there in the driveway. She was truly an angel.....it could have been REALLY bad. Our dog went the whole way with him. I was totally impressed! I had blisters on the bottom of my feet from the burning street so I know that Maddie was hurting. She was limping when she got home, poor girl! <br />
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After the commotion settled I crashed in the rocking chair & just cried. I was exhausted & so grateful that God had spared our family a tragedy.Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-51959256356638669172010-10-26T16:20:00.001-05:002010-10-26T16:21:21.617-05:00Math Facts(My Mom is my witness on this) The other day Sam came up to me & said, "2+2=4." I said, "That's right, who told you that?" "Papa." So, just to be silly I said, "Then what is 2+3?" She thought for a minute & said, "5" Uhhhhh, WHAT? Mom & I looked at each other in total shock! I might have even said, "That had to be a coincidence."<br />
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The next day Dad came over & I told him about what happened. Sam was sitting in the kitchen & he turned to her & started quizzing her.......<br />
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Dad: What's 2+2?<br />
Sam: 4<br />
Dad: What's 2+3?<br />
Sam: 5<br />
Dad: What's 1+3?<br />
Sam: 2 (which is obviously wrong)<br />
Dad: Maybe this will be easier...what's 3+1?<br />
Sam: 4<br />
Dad: What's 2+1?<br />
Sam: 3. I'm done.<br />
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& that was the end of that. But we were definitely all shocked. I knew she was really good with numbers but to just bust out with the answers to abstract math problems was WAY beyond what I thought she was capable of. I'm always doing that. I just don't want to be one of <i>those </i>Mom's who is always pushing her kid to be the smartest. I just want her to learn at her own pace at this point. I guess the negative side of that is that I don't push her to try anything that is above her "level." Anyway, I probably wouldn't have even shared that if I didn't have a story to tell that goes along with it.<br />
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I'll preface the story by telling you that we have been working on Sam using her "imagination." She has a VERY hard time with this (as do I.....so I'm not a great example) so I have been trying to encourage her to use her imagination to play.<br />
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While we were at the doctor's office today I was trying to think of productive ways to spend the 2 LONG hours we were there. I thought maybe she would like to do some "math facts" since she seemed to enjoy answering my Dad the other day. The conversation went like this:<br />
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Me: What's 2+2?<br />
Sam: 4<br />
Me: OK, so what's 2+3?<br />
Sam: 4!<br />
Me: Um, were you even listening? How can 2+2=4 AND 2+3=4? <br />
Sam: With my imagination!!!!!<br />
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Hahaha....my daughter is so clever!.....or maybe a smart-aleck? LOVE that girl!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-46142757680703726452010-10-26T15:53:00.000-05:002010-10-26T15:53:48.714-05:00Drama!I feel like that's the best way to describe all that has taken place in the Martin household over the past 6 months.<br />
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It is like big thing after big thing. It's so crazy to seriously feel like things are so chaotic, yet still be so at peace. Things don't SEEM so crazy to me until I sit down to tell someone about everything & then it all just sounds so ridiculous! There is only ONE reason for that. The phrase that God had me write on my bathroom mirror when I was pregnant with Sawyer.....it still remains.....Where God guides, He provides!!!!<br />
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So, what's the latest goings on with us? <br />
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As most of you know, I am on strict bedrest with bathroom only privileges. Somehow I thought I'd scoot by it this time. We had a great plan in place of doing the <a href="http://www.ffntest.com/">FFN</a> every 2 weeks but they just grew more & more concerned as time passed & my contractions grew stronger, more consistent & closer together. So I was sent to a paranatologist (high risk doctor). They did a sono & nothing seemed WAY out of whack. My cervix was a little short but with my history it wasn't a huge concern. They scheduled me for an appt 2 weeks later & ended up not liking what they saw at that time. The 1st appt my cervix was measuring 2.6 <i>with</i> pressure & 2 weeks later it was measuring at 1.6 <i>without</i> pressure. Apparently this is quite a significant change so she placed me on bedrest until 36 weeks. ( I am at 34 weeks right now)<br />
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In the middle of all that mess I got that nasty stomach bug that almost everyone I know ended up getting (including ALL 5 of us) & ended up in the hospital getting pumped with 3 bags of fluid because I was SOOOO dehydrated! Thankfully I just had to stay long enough for them to get the fluid in me.....no overnight stay.....WOOHOO!<br />
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I am BEYOND blessed and SOO thankful for all of my amazing friends & family that have just stepped right up & helped me during this frustrating & difficult time. My Mom has been staying at our house during the week while Josh is gone so that I can have help with the kids. Seriously.....how awesome is that? I am blessed! After posting about bedrest on FB I had lots of offers of people bringing us food. So far we have had someone bring something every night except on the weekends & have a full schedule at least through next Tuesday! Amazing.....REALLY! It has been SOOO helpful. My Mom gets tired after chasing kids around, house cleaning & running errands all day so to not have to worry about dinner is HUGE! <br />
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A MUCHO, MASSIVE, WAY HUGE thank you to all who have helped us out!<br />
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I want to dedicate a post for each of the ridiculous events that have taken place over the past several months so be sure to check back for some exciting adventures.........HA!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-60482990091942505102010-08-10T22:17:00.004-05:002021-06-07T19:26:51.314-05:00My StoryMy Story.<div><br /></div><div>He was my boyfriend. We had been dating for over a year by this time. As a 17 year old girl I was the one who thought, "It will never happen to me." I knew lots of other girls who were "doing it" and they never had any problems. Or so I told myself.
Isn't it funny how we believe what we see? Trust me when I tell you that what you see is not how it is. I did a great job at hiding it myself. There was no way anyone would know my secret....not even my very best friends. </div><div><br /></div><div> I will never forget the day I found out that my life would never be the same....it is crystal clear, as if it were only yesterday. I sat in his bathroom. I had stealthily snuck a pregnancy test off the shelf at the local grocery store. Test in hand, I collapsed on the floor, acknowledging the dreaded result. I sobbed. </div><div><br /></div><div>No one was home but the two of us and he was outside tending to the horses. I was all alone and that's how I wanted it....I was terrified.
After regaining composure somewhat, I called for him. I had him sit down in the living room. I handed him the test, trying my best to contain my emotions. He looked at me, "what does that mean?" I choked out the words, "I'm pregnant" before losing it.</div><div><br /></div><div>A full blown panic attack ensued. The weight of the world was on my shoulders.
He never got angry. I was taken aback by his calm demeanor. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was beginning to think that everything was going to be OK. And then came the words....."don't worry about it, we'll take care of it." That did not console me. In fact, I burned with a rage & deep sadness. I knew what those words meant and until that moment that option had not crossed my mind. I had always dreamed of being a Mom. While I was not expecting this experience at such an early age, I had already begun to accept that it was what it was. </div><div><br /></div><div> As I lay there curled in the fetal position my mind raced. I thought of anything I could do to keep THAT from happening. His parents had lost his only sibling when she was only 3. I knew if I told them I was pregnant, they would never allow THAT to happen. Should I go behind his back? And then what would they think? What if they agreed with his decision?
Could I parent this child on my own? I knew he would never marry me. I would be ruining his opportunity to fulfill his lifelong dream if I did not concede. What would my parents say? What would they tell their friends? Did this mean I would have to work and my baby would have to go to daycare? Would anyone ever want to marry me? The questions were endless. </div><div><br /></div><div>The details up until the day I arrived at the clinic are blurry. I honestly don’t remember making the call or figuring out where I was going. Somehow I knew that Planned Parenthood did abortions and they <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">didn</span>’t require your parent’s permission. (Could it be the million-dollar marketing they target at teens?) It’s likely that I made him do all of the research, calling, etc. since it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">wasn</span>’t what I wanted to do (that just sounds like something I would do) </div><div><br /></div><div> I do recall sitting in the cubicle talking with one of the “counselors.” In retrospect, this is what makes me <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">so</span> angry. I recall the conversation for the most part…..this is how it went. </div><div><br /></div><div>Counselor: “So, you are pregnant and don’t want to be. That is why you are here, right?” </div><div>Me: “Yes” </div><div>Counselor: “Are you aware of the options you have at this point?” </div><div>Me: “Yes” (even though I had NO clue, I just wanted to get outta there as quickly as possible) </div><div>Counselor: “And what option do you feel is best for you?”
Me: Eyes peeled to the ground, tears welling up inside….”abortion”. </div><div>Counselor: "It’s OK honey, I know this is hard but you need to do what is right for you. Does the father know?” </div><div>Me: “Yes, this was his idea.” </div><div>Counselor: “Is this what you want to do?” </div><div>Me: “I guess….I don’t really know what else I can do.”
Counselor: “Alright then, let’s set up an appointment. Who will be bringing you to the clinic?” </div><div>Me: “My boyfriend.” </div><div>Counselor: “OK, when you get here, you can park right next to the building in the spots closest to the front door. When you walk in you need to keep your head down and ignore the people at the end of the gate. They will try to entice you not to go forward with the procedure but what they will tell you are lies. Just do your best to pretend like they <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">aren</span>’t there”……. and the conversation continued with details about time and what to expect physically after the surgery, etc.
I don’t remember much after this….. the instructions about ignoring the people really frightened me and my mind raced elsewhere. </div><div><br /></div><div>Can I just stop the story for a minute and discuss my frustrations with this? The lady never explained my options. When I said I knew what my options were she took my word for it and continued. </div><div><br /></div><div>This should not be allowed. </div><div><br /></div><div>They should be REQUIRED to walk you through each option available. Part of me believes (though I don’t want to take anything away from my responsibility in this) that if I had been given all the options that I would not have chosen abortion.
I also think they should be REQUIRED to reveal the exact procedure being performed. This in turn would require the mother to be privy to the fact that the child inside of her is already looking like a baby and has a beating heart. They should be required to tell you that the doctor will rip apart this child by its limbs and then suck its remains out with a vacuum. Did I know ANY of this? NO, NO, NO! I am angry that I was not told what they were going to do. I am angry that they fool MANY into choosing abortion purely by preying on those who are making decisions in fear. It is my belief that fewer people would choose this route if they were only informed! </div><div><br /></div><div>Our children deserve to know what an abortion really is BEFORE they are put in a position to have to make a decision about an unwanted pregnancy. (Though, for those of you who aren't aware, children are not the only ones having abortions. Single adults and even married women are as well.) </div><div><br /></div><div>To nail the point home: I have a friend who also faced an unwanted pregnancy and she too chose to have an abortion. It was clear from the moment I was told that it was not up for discussion. After my abortion I ended up sharing with her that I had gone through the same thing. We ended up attending the same college. I will never forget one day I received a phone call from her telling me to stay away from the large grassy area in the middle of campus. She was FUMING. She could not believe that people had the audacity to put up a display of aborted babies. For whatever reason….I wanted to know. While I respected her viewpoint, I did not understand it. I was drawn to the exhibit. It was hard….very hard. For the FIRST time I was made aware of what my decision looked like in cold hard facts. I honestly remember telling myself that I had had my abortion long before the abortions depicted on the display; that I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">didn</span>’t really have anything but tissue in there when I had the procedure.
I know now that I was wrong. </div><div><br /></div><div> I was blinded by my desire to just get it over with….to return to a normal life. (Which NEVER happened, by the way)
</div><div><br /></div><div>Planned Parenthood has an agenda. Capitalize on the culture’s irresponsibility and fear. Abortions = HUGE Profits. They do NOT care about your well-being. (I realize that they are not the only ones who perform abortions but this is whom I can share about from experience.)</div><div><br /></div><div>Back to the story…..it came time to wait! For whatever reason they liked to schedule the procedure between 8 & 12 weeks.
I don’t recall much about this time except that I took a trip to Italy with my high school choir while I was still pregnant. My mother went with us. I got <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">soooo</span></span> incredibly sick. I told everyone it was due to motion sickness because we did so much traveling that day. I wanted <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">SOOO</span></span> bad to share with my Mom but I knew if I told anyone I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">wouldn</span></span>’t be able to stomach going through with the procedure and would surely ruin my boyfriends life. </div><div><br /></div><div>Ironically, I thought I was being selfless. It was a sad trip for me. </div><div><br /></div><div>The long anticipated day arrived. It was dreadful. My boyfriend drove me to the clinic and walked me inside. I made him check me in. I immediately sat down in the chair closest to the door….it was as far as I could go at the moment. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my head.
When he returned to my side he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Are you serious? No, I’m not okay.” It was all I could say…..my stomach was churning. I sat there, head buried, tears streaming down my face until they called my name.
I don’t remember anything about the preparation or the procedure. </div><div><br /></div><div>The recovery room I remember vividly. For whatever reason, I remember this more than anything else about the whole situation.
I lay in my bed still groggy from the anesthetic, awoken to girls laughing. It made me want to vomit. I was so repulsed by their flippancy. They were laughing and carrying on and making friends with the girls in the bed next to them. I felt so alone…..so isolated…..like I was the strange one for feeling so bad about what I had done. I just remember being so confused. </div><div><br /></div><div> I did not grow up in church. I did not come to know the Lord until I was 20 years old. It was not because of my relationship with Christ that I was overcome with guilt.
I think this is very important. There are so many people out there who claim that there is no such thing as Post Abortion Syndrome. They say that it is something made up by the Pro-Life community to scare women. I am here to tell you that they are CRAZY! I knew nothing of what I was actually doing. I had no idea that I was killing a living being or what my choice was costing and yet my heart still screamed with guilt. I believe that God has written the Truth on our hearts.</div><div><br /></div><div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:13-16)
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I believe that those who say they have not experienced any remorse or any sort of PAS are lying to themselves or have <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">suppressed</span> those feelings and will one day be confronted with them. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was sent on my way and so my boyfriend took me to the only place I could recover without questions….his workplace. At that time he was a ranch-hand and the ranch had a bunk house. I stayed curled up there for the remainder of the day. I felt like the world had stopped turning. I felt as though life should come to a halt….that he should be so overwhelmed with grief that he would need the afternoon to recover with me. I was wrong. His day carried on as any other. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was the beginning of a very dark period in my life.
The idea that I would feel so much better after the event had taken place was proving to be so far from reality. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was changed. My days became long & hard. I wept daily.....I will never forget. I remember driving down the road in the passenger's seat of my boyfriend's truck, crying. Frustrated, I turned my face toward the window because I knew he would think I was insane if he saw me crying <span style="font-style: italic;">AGAIN</span>. I couldn't get it together, though nothing else had happened to cause the tears. I considered the past year & was certain that I had shed more tears in that time than I had in all the years of my life combined. I was not one to cry. But life was different. </div><div><br /></div><div> I remember feeling stuck. I stayed with him 3 more years after the abortion. It wasn't because I loved him. I felt worthless. I felt like no one on earth could love me. He wasn’t even good to me. I just felt like a horrible person. I didn't feel deserving of the kind of person I really wanted to be with, so I stayed. </div><div><br /></div><div> The summer after my freshman year of college I received a phone call from my parents asking me to come home. They had something they needed to tell me. It was not a pleasant conversation......gut-wrenching actually. </div><div><br /></div><div>I don't have a great memory but I remember every detail of that conversation. </div><div><br /></div><div> They were splitting up.
I was all alone. </div><div><br /></div><div> The loneliness was overwhelming, a dark cloud looming over me, & it was not because of my physical circumstances. I had already isolated myself from my boyfriend because I hated him for never feeling guilty about the abortion. After learning about my parents, I couldn't stand to be around my Dad (whose decision it was to separate) & moved out of their house & into my boyfriend's. I no longer had my family, my boyfriend had already isolated me from my friends & now I was living with someone whom I essentially hated.</div><div><br /></div><div>~
We are a reading family. A few months after moving into my boyfriend's home, my Mom introduced me to a new series of books she was reading. Someone from her school suggested she read them & she really enjoyed them so she was passing them on to me. These books were from the "Left Behind" series by Jerry Jenkins & Tim <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">LaHaye</span>. They were FASCINATING. I suppose I had never heard anything like this & for these things to possibly be true?????</div><div><br /></div><div> It is clear now as I look back that the Holy Spirit was moving in my heart.
I knew that if these things really were true that I didn't want any part of being here for them! I was determined to find out the truth & the only place I knew to do that was at church. </div><div><br /></div><div>I was living in a tiny rural town at the time so I did some research & found a small Baptist church about 10 minutes from the house. I talked my boyfriend and his Mom into attending Aurora Baptist Church with me the very first Sunday. I don't really remember how many weekends I attended before giving my life to Christ but I know it wasn't many. My boyfriend's Mom didn't go the following week & my boyfriend didn't join me the week after that. It was all me. </div><div><br /></div><div>The Lord chased this sister down! </div><div><br /></div><div>This was a traditional Baptist church & the Pastor would do an invitational at the end of every service. There were a couple of weekends that the Lord was really prompting my heart but I wasn't sure or was too embarrassed to go down front. He mentioned that there was more information about becoming a Christian at the back of the sanctuary. I secretly grabbed one of the pamphlets on my way out the door that weekend. It was in reading through that pamphlet that I gave my life to Christ. I do recall thinking that I needed to walk down front at church to actually receive Christ in my heart. I prayed the prayer by myself but I felt like it just couldn't be that "easy".....there had to be something else I had to do. (which is completely untrue) </div><div><br /></div><div> The following weekend I walked down to the front during the invitational & shared that I had given my life to Christ. Several weeks later I was baptized. As I think back on that moment, it seems a little sad that I walked through all of that alone. I did not invite a soul to my baptism. I was convinced that my parents would think I was crazy & who else would I invite? I was baptized all alone. </div><div><br /></div><div>An event that should have been wrapped in celebration, just was. </div><div><br /></div><div>Oh, but my heart was wrapped in celebration & that was what really mattered!
It was from the moment that I gave my life to Christ that I was changed. That may seem cliche to some but boy did it ring true for me! It was nothing that I TRIED to change. It was simply that my heart had been transformed. The purity of Christ sat so heavily upon me that the things of this world were suddenly displayed in a new light! </div><div><br /></div><div> My life began to feel like it had purpose & meaning......something I had not felt in a very long time.....maybe ever!
My life was consumed by learning & spending time in the Word. </div><div><br /></div><div>I wrestled with the relationship I was in & decided that God's desire was for me was to marry my boyfriend since we had already come together & become one in God's eyes. Looking back I am certain that I came to this conclusion, not because I thought it was true but because I didn't think I deserved anything better. It wasn't long before God brought heavy conviction upon my heart about this relationship & I broke things off. I moved out of his house into a duplex by myself. </div><div><br /></div><div>It was a sad & yet crucial time for me. I was very lonely but God knew that the isolation was the best possible thing for me at that time. I spent hours upon hours pouring over the Bible & in prayer. This time gave me a foundation not in church membership or Christian friends or someone else's thoughts or ideas but in Christ himself! What a blessing! </div><div><br /></div><div>God truly amazes me at how he worked out my life to allow for this time. A time of transition from putting my worth in others to putting my worth in Christ.
As I was trying to untangle our lives I became well aware of my need to find a new church home. I really had no idea where to start. I visited several churches in the area but did not feel comfortable with any of them. Amazingly, God had orchestrated a Christian connection several years before this. Even though we had not worked together in several years, we stayed in touch a couple of times a year. It struck me to contact him & see if he could suggest a good church. He quickly invited me to his church & immediately threw me in the singles mix to get involved! I jumped right in & my walk with the Lord truly soared as I began to grow & build healthy relationships. </div><div><br /></div><div>The memories of my single days at that church are still very vivid in my heart. It was such a wonderful time when life held very little responsibility & I could spend huge amounts of time chasing after the Lord with wild abandon. As much as I love my life right now I so miss the time I had to focus on my relationship with the Lord when I was single. </div><div><br /></div><div>Since giving my life to Christ, there have been up times & down times. There has been heartache, pain, joy & celebration. These things are not so different from my life <span style="font-style: italic;">before</span> Christ. What <span style="font-style: italic;">has</span> been different is that my life has held meaning through all of those times. When things were low, my hope never wavered! Knowing you have a God who is in charge of ALL things, with your best interest in mind, is a very comforting thought. God has transformed my heart & I will forever be changed. </div><div><br /></div><div> As far as the abortion goes......I have been forgiven! It is such a sweet truth that I feel completely unworthy of! I got involved with a crisis pregnancy center early on in my walk with the Lord & they encouraged me to walk through a post abortion Bible study. It was one of the most liberating things I have ever done. I'm not sure I realized how paralyzed I had been from that tragic event in my life. Through the study, I was able to forgive my ex, & most of all, forgive myself. I know now that God wants to use me to further his kingdom by using the experience to help others. Talk about redemption! God is so good like that! Everything, everything, everything has a purpose! </div><div><br /></div><div> (Oh, & on a side note, my parents never got divorced!!!!!!!!!!!! They were actually both saved & I had the privilege of watching them walk through the waters of baptisms, hand in hand!!!!!)</div>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-90426332488915777612010-08-10T22:00:00.003-05:002010-08-10T22:23:07.916-05:00Finally......An Ending!This story is not over. I realize that it has been FAR too long since I <a href="http://theadventuresofbabyboymartin.blogspot.com/search/label/abortion%20my%20story">last</a> wrote about my experience but it hasn't been because this is not important. This part of the story is just as important. Life has gotten in the way of me spending time blogging but I wanted to finish this story if anyone was ever led here & needed to hear someones personal story.<br /><br />I was changed. My days became long & hard. I wept daily.....I will never forget. I remember driving down the road in the passenger's seat of my boyfriend's pickup, crying. Frustrated, I turned my face toward the window because I knew he would think I was insane if he saw me crying <span style="font-style: italic;">AGAIN</span>. I couldn't get it together, though nothing had happened to cause the tears. I considered the past year & was certain that I had shed more tears in that time than I had in all the years of my life combined. I was not one to cry. But life was different.<br /><br />I remember feeling stuck. I stayed with Brad 3 more years after the abortion. It wasn't because I loved him. I felt worthless. I felt like no one on earth could love me. I felt like a horrible person. I didn't feel deserving of the kind of person I really wanted to be with, so I stayed.<br /><br />The summer after my freshman year of college I received a phone call from my parents asking me to come home. They had something they needed to tell me. It was not a pleasant conversation......gut-wrenching actually. I don't have a great memory but I remember every detail of that conversation.<br /><br />They were splitting up.<br /><br />I was all alone.<br /><br />The loneliness was overwhelming, a dark cloud looming over me, & it was not because of my physical circumstances. I had already isolated myself from my boyfriend because I hated him for never feeling guilty about the abortion. After learning about my parents, I couldn't stand to be around my Dad (whose decision it was to separate) & moved out of their house & into my boyfriend's. I no longer had my family, my boyfriend had already isolated me from my friends & now I was living with someone whom I essentially hated.<br /><br />~Let's pause right here for a moment. I need to tell you that I don't remember the time-line entirely. I journaled all the time back then. I wish I had kept my journals but I threw them all out when I got engaged to my husband. What a foolish thing to do. I have since lost track of what happened when & in what order. The main things I remember are when the abortion took place & when I came to Christ.~<br /><br />We are a reading family. A few months after moving into my boyfriend's home, my Mom introduced me to a new series of books she was reading. Someone from her school suggested she read them & she really enjoyed them so she was passing them on to me. These books were from the "Left Behind" series by Jerry Jenkins & Tim LaHaye. They were FASCINATING. I suppose I had never heard anything like this & for these things to possibly be true????? It is clear now as I look back that the Holy Spirit was moving in my heart.<br /><br />I knew that if these things really were true that I didn't want any part of being here for them! I was determined to find out the truth & the only place I knew to do that was at church. I was living in Rhome, Texas at the time so I did some research & found a small Baptist church about 10 minutes from the house. I talked my boyfriend and his Mom into attending Aurora Baptist Church with me the very first Sunday.<br /><br />Looking back I just laugh at how naive I was & how horrible I must have looked to all of the mature Christians who sat in the pews. Because we were visitors, we had people introducing themselves & asking us basic questions. I was not one bit ashamed or embarrassed to tell them that I was living in Rhome with my boyfriend! Ha....so clueless! But isn't it great that God loved me even though I was so lost?<br /><br />I don't really remember how many weekends I attended before giving my life to Christ but I know it wasn't many. My boyfriend's Mom didn't go the following week & my boyfriend didn't join me the week after that. It was all me. The Lord chased this sister down! This was a traditional Baptist church & the Pastor would do an invitational at the end of every service. There were a couple of weekends that the Lord was really prompting my heart but I wasn't sure or was too embarrassed to go down front. He mentioned that there was more information about becoming a Christian at the back of the sanctuary. I secretly grabbed one of the pamphlets on my way out the door that weekend. It was in reading through that pamphlet that I gave my life to Christ. I do recall thinking that I needed to walk down front at church to actually receive Christ in my heart. I prayed the prayer by myself but I felt like it just couldn't be that "easy".....there had to be something else I had to do. (which is completely untrue)<br /><br />The following weekend I walked down to the front during the invitational & shared that I had given my life to Christ. Several weeks later I was baptized. As I think back on that moment, I am saddened that I walked through all of that alone. I did not invite a soul to my baptism. I was convinced that my parents would think I was crazy & who else would I invite? I was baptized all alone. An event that should have been wrapped in celebration, just was. Oh, but my heart was wrapped in celebration & that was what really mattered!<br /><br />It was from the moment that I gave my life to Christ that I was changed. That may seem cliche to some but boy did it ring true for me! It was nothing that I TRIED to change. It was simply that my heart had been transformed. Things like cussing, something that was second nature & not the least bit offensive prior to this time, all of the sudden had me cringing. I'm not even sure that I knew cussing was "wrong". The Spirit just came into my life & turned it upside down. The purity of Christ sat so heavily upon me that the things of this world were suddenly displayed in a new light!<br /><br />My life began to feel like it had purpose & meaning......something I had not felt in a very long time.....maybe ever!<br /><br />My life was consumed by learning & spending time in the Word. I wrestled with the relationship I was in & decided that God's desire was for me was to marry Brad since we had already come together & become one in God's eyes. Looking back I am certain that I came to this conclusion, not because I thought it was true but because I didn't think I deserved anything better. It wasn't long before God brought heavy conviction upon my heart about this relationship & I broke things off. I moved out of his house into a duplex by myself. It was a sad & yet crucial time for me. I was very lonely but God knew that the isolation was the best possible thing for me at that time. I spent hours upon hours pouring over the Bible & in prayer. This time gave me a foundation not in church membership or Christian friends or someone else's thoughts or ideas but in Christ himself! What a blessing! God truly amazes me at how he worked out my life to allow for this time. A time of transition from putting my worth in others to putting my worth in Christ.<br /><br />As I was trying to untangle our lives I became well aware of my need to find a new church home. I really had no idea where to start. I visited several churches in the area but did not feel comfortable with any of them. Amazingly, God had orchestrated a Christian connection several years before this. Even though we had not worked together in several years, we stayed in touch a couple of times a year. It struck me to contact him & see if he could suggest a good church. He quickly invited me to his church & immediately threw me in the singles mix to get involved! I jumped right in & my walk with the Lord truly soared as I began to grow & build healthy relationships. The memories of my single days at Fellowship are still very vivid. It was such a wonderful time when life held very little responsibility & I could spend huge amounts of time chasing after the Lord with wild abandon. As much as I love my life right now I so miss the time I had to focus on my relationship with the Lord when I was single.<br /><br />There have been up times & down times. There has been heartache, pain, joy & celebration. These things are not so different from my life <span style="font-style: italic;">before</span> Christ. What <span style="font-style: italic;">has</span> been different is that my life has held meaning through all of those times. When things were low, my hope never wavered! Knowing you have a God who is in charge of ALL things, with your best interest in mind, is a very comforting thought. God has transformed my heart & I will forever be changed.<br /><br />As far as the abortion goes......I have been forgiven! It is such a sweet truth that I feel completely unworthy of! I got involved with a crisis pregnancy center early on in my walk with the Lord & they encouraged me to walk through a post abortion Bible study. It was one of the most liberating things I have ever done. I'm not sure I realized how paralyzed I had been from that tragic event in my life. Through the study, I was able to forgive Brad, & most of all, forgive myself. I know now that God wants to use me to further his kingdom by using the experience to help others. Talk about redemption! God is so good like that! Everything, everything, everything has a purpose!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-39273928298493845272010-06-19T21:00:00.006-05:002010-06-28T06:23:21.308-05:00Week One of Cloth Diapering Complete<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCf9-JmrUfI/AAAAAAAADK8/rGJq9rn00bk/s1600/DSC_0200.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCf9-JmrUfI/AAAAAAAADK8/rGJq9rn00bk/s320/DSC_0200.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487633915146097138" border="0" /></a><br />I have been contemplating changing to cloth for some time now. In fact I thought I wanted to start Spencer out in cloth but it just never happened. I made one diaper, did very little research, had leaks & moved on. BUT, when I found out #4 was on the way & that meant 3 in diapers, my attitude changed a bit. The cloth diapering became more of a financial necessity.<br /><br />Sooo, I did a TON of research & finally decided on what CD method I was going to use. Sounds kinda goofy, I know, but there are so many different choices. I found a ton of great sources but my favorite was probably <a href="http://greenmountaindiapers.com/">Green Mountain Diapers</a>, which provided a wealth of valuable information. The whole point for me in this is to save money. While I do like to be<span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);"> </span><span style="color: rgb(0, 153, 0);font-size:130%;" >GREEN</span>, the financial situation was certainly the deciding factor on this venture.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCgKDhYZapI/AAAAAAAADLU/N9ZRBefYQwY/s1600/blackbird.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 226px; height: 250px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCgKDhYZapI/AAAAAAAADLU/N9ZRBefYQwY/s320/blackbird.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487647201567533714" border="0" /></a>Because I was going the frugal route, I chose prefolds & covers. (He has a cover just like the one above!) This is more like old-fashioned CD'ing that most of you are familiar with. It seemed that all the reviews kept saying that people would try the other types.......AIO's, pockets, fitteds, etc. but they would always fall back on their prefolds & really thought that they were the best, even though they might not be the most convenient.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCf9_FxHE4I/AAAAAAAADLM/Yh9d_OhHxnw/s1600/DSC_0202.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCf9_FxHE4I/AAAAAAAADLM/Yh9d_OhHxnw/s320/DSC_0202.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487633931295986562" border="0" /></a><br />Well, since I stay home MOST of the time, I didn't figure I had a good excuse NOT to use the prefolds. So, I bit the bullet & ordered enough to get me going. CD'ing takes quite a bit of prep work so I didn't get to get started the minute my stuff arrived like I like to. Because I chose organic, unbleached prefolds it took even more work. I had to wash & dry them a zillion times to get them going. I also had to lanolize my wool cover which basically just helps it to repel water.<br /><br />After a couple of days of getting the diapers prepped (which really wasn't that big of a deal & only has to be done once), I jumped right in! I have to say that I am thoroughly impressed. I have not had even ONE leak yet! They are actually quite simple to do & they are simple enough to wash & dry. I honestly thought I would hate it & just deal with it because it was something that needed to be done but I have been pleasantly surprised. I didn't even change him in the middle of the night last night & to my surprise he woke up with dry clothes! I have been putting the wool cover on him at night & it has worked perfectly!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This is not Sawyer but this is what his wool cover looks like! SO CUTE!<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCgKEAoj9AI/AAAAAAAADLk/UwCKqzmb1lo/s1600/wool+cover.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 187px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCgKEAoj9AI/AAAAAAAADLk/UwCKqzmb1lo/s320/wool+cover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487647209956832258" border="0" /></a><br /></div>I do have to say that I have yet to get Josh to change a diaper. BUT, my Mom eagerly tried after seeing how simple it is these days & she did just fine! She even used diaper pins the other day because she couldn't find the Snappi (WOW!). There is this thing called a Snappi that is so cool! No more diaper pins......that never would have worked for me.....I am WAY too clumsy. My poor child would have been a bloody mess. The Snappi keeps the prefolds together under the cover. And the covers are no longer "rubber pants" like they were in the past. In fact, they can be quite cute! They are now much more like disposable diapers with either velcro or snaps & come in lots of different patterns.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This isn't Sawyer either but I thought you might like to see the prefold & the Snappi (the light green thing) in action!<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCgKEC57avI/AAAAAAAADLc/4chT3PLTql4/s1600/prefold,snappi,cover.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 251px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCgKEC57avI/AAAAAAAADLc/4chT3PLTql4/s320/prefold,snappi,cover.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487647210566544114" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Oh geez.....& how did I forget the best part of modern CD'ing??? Flushable liners! They have these wonderful flushable liners that you put right on top of the prefold & if a poopy comes along, you can just pull that mess out of there with the liner & throw it all in the potty! Woohoo!<br /></div></div><br />He does have a massive booty now.....looks like he's got some junk in the trunk......but I suppose I am willing to sacrifice!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCf9--_4dtI/AAAAAAAADLE/Hv_bOIStKwY/s1600/DSC_0201.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/TCf9--_4dtI/AAAAAAAADLE/Hv_bOIStKwY/s320/DSC_0201.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487633929478895314" border="0" /></a>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-30231811386883230622010-06-18T14:48:00.006-05:002010-06-18T15:57:49.374-05:00Life as we know it........<span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >Well, life has just kinda been over the top lately.....honestly, it has been kicking me in the tail. I am finally feeling like I can take a breath.....so here I am trying to catch up!<br /><br />For those who are not aware, I have had a VERY challenging baby for the past 8 months. If you want to read about it, I have changed the font color......if not, you can just skip over the details to what is going on in the rest of my life.<br /><br /><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);">He has tested our patience, so much so that it has been torturous at times</span></span><!--En--><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">. He is a hard one to explain. I guess I can start from day one since that is when it started. </span></span> <div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">I knew he was going to be different....a challenge......after the first night in the hospital. He screamed most of the night. I thought it was possibly because my milk wasn't in & he was hungry so we tried to do a little supplementing. But the next night was the same. And the night we went home was even worse. Holding him did no good. Nothing could make him stop crying. He would eventually just give out & fall asleep.....only to wake an hour later & do the same thing all over again. </span></span></div> <div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">The days weren't any better but at least I wasn't trying to get sleep. I love Josh but he gets frustrated easily when he is trying to sleep & is having to console a crying baby so I didn't even ask for his help. His job was to tend to the other two. Thankfully God gave me a supernatural helping of patience for Sawyer because I might have hurt him if I had to rely on my own strength & patience. </span></span></div> <div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">From very early on we were trying different formulas & when that didn't work, the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">pedi</span> put him on reflux <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">meds</span>, thinking that was the reason for all the crying. Many tried to encourage me & tell me it was colic & that it would all end soon enough. From everything I read "colic" starts somewhere around 6 weeks & ends somewhere around 6 months. Well, he has blew this out of the water.....it started on day 1 & was still going strong months later. Even in doing all of the research, I'm still not sure what colic is anyway except for a diagnosis for unexplained fussiness. </span></span></div> <div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">He didn't really want to take a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">paci</span> but I knew I would lose my mind if I didn't have some way to quiet his screams. It was all a futile effort because it never did console him. If my other kids were screaming I could put the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">paci</span> in & it would somehow help pacify them most of the time. This was never the case with Sawyer. It was more a device for me to hold in his mouth to somewhat muffle his screaming.</span></span></div> <div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-family:times new roman;"><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="border-collapse: separate; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: normal; orphans: 2; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;">Basically if he was awake, he was screaming. </span></span></div><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >I was learning how to cope, but I'm not sure I was doing much more than that. It seemed that life as we had known it simply had to shut down. I had been doing some preschool stuff with Samara that I just couldn't find time for anymore. I was doing a good job at keeping up with the housework & laundry but couldn't even find the time to do that anymore. Anything I was able to do I had to figure out how to do while holding a baby.</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >It was really getting to me......I was not only tired of hearing the screaming & constantly having to carry a baby around as well as being completely exhausted from lack of sleep, but more than anything, the guilt of neglecting my other children was OVERWHELMING! I didn't play with them or read to them as much as I used to & it just felt wrong!</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >At his 6 month check-up I explained to the doctor that something had to be done. He was NEVER content, he would scream the minute I put him down, he wasn't even happy playing on the floor next to me, he wasn't sleeping, etc. Things just weren't right. He told me to add another dose of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Prevacid</span> so that he was taking it in the morning & the evening. I didn't feel like this was the answer but I was willing to give anything a try. He also recommended that I take him to see a GI doctor.</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >So we took him to the GI doctor. This doctor said it sounded like he had a milk protein allergy & changed him to a ridiculously expensive formula called <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Elecare</span>. Well, his reflux was twice as bad on this formula. The doctor told me to give it a full 2 weeks before deciding whether or not it was working before I gave up on it. I did that & things never got better. I switched him back to his old formula & he started sleeping much better. I was warned by a friend that the GI doctor I had taken him to originally was not a good choice & she gave me the name of a new one. So I made an <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">appt</span> with the new doc. </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >About 5 days ago Sawyer started crawling & life has been turned upside down!!!!! This is a new child! For the first time EVER I have been able to put him down & walk away without him crying. He is content for long periods of time just playing on the ground, exploring. Before this, he MIGHT give me 10, occasionally 15 minutes of peace.</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >If someone had told me this, I would NOT have believed them. (well, actually someone did & I did not believe her) I had heard so many times that "things will get better, just hang in there"......but nothing ever did. So I was not about to get my hopes up.</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><span style="font-style: italic;">But people</span>, this is a changed child. The difference is BEYOND amazing! I am <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">SOOOO</span> grateful to be able to actually play with the other kids & clean the house & do the laundry, etc. again. MAYBE, just maybe we can work on some sort of schedule now!!!!!</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0); font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >Because I already had the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">appt</span> scheduled (& we were only on day 3 of Happy Sawyer), I decided to go ahead & take him to the new GI. I am glad that I did as I felt that he was MUCH more thorough & seemed to want to know everything about everything to make his diagnosis. Which, was......<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">drum roll</span> please......a high needs child. Let me just tell you that that diagnosis was very possibly my worst fear. There is no "fix" for a high needs child & it is something we will deal with, in one way or another, for the rest of his life. This was, however, what I felt like might be the issue. Thankfully high needs children are much happier when they become mobile! Hallelujah for crawling!</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" ><span style="color: rgb(0, 51, 0);"> <span style="color: rgb(0, 102, 0);"> & I know God will equip us (just as he did this time) with the tools to work through any future frustrations.</span></span><br /><br />While dealing with all of this, I found out that we are pregnant with our fourth child. This was quite the surprise & I had a difficult time coming to terms with it......especially in light of the challenge #3 was bringing to our family.<br /><br />BUT, I am learning to be thankful for God gifting our family with another sweet child. I know things will be absolutely chaotic for the next several years but my prayer is that my children will have such a close bond because they are so close in age.<br /><br />One of my biggest fears about being pregnant again was my "high-risk pregnancy" & being put on bed-rest yet for the 4th time. This just was not an option for me considering I have 3 very small children. I did not want Mom to have to give up her life, yet again, for months while I lay in bed. When I went in for my first </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10" >appt</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >, I voiced my concern & we figured out what we thought would be a great solution. From 26 weeks on we would do an </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11" >FFN</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" > test. If the test came back negative we wouldn't worry about my contractions & would just </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12" >proceed</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" > as if it were a normal pregnancy. Brilliant!<br /><br />UNFORTUNATELY that didn't solve my concern for my mother having to put her life on hold to help me.<br /><br />When I went in for my first </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13" >appt</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >, the midwife said that she felt like I was measuring bigger than I should be so she sent me for a </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14" >sono</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >.....probably just to make sure I wasn't having twins. Everything went great, the baby looked wonderful, I was measuring a week ahead of what we had originally thought UNTIL the end of the </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15" >sono</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" > when the </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16" >sonographer</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" > said, "& it looks like you have placenta </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17" >previa</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >. I will need to called the office & see what their protocol is for </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18" >previa</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >." Um, OK, have no idea what that means. Well, protocol is pelvic rest! She explained that pelvic rest means no sex & no lifting over 15 lbs (as I am standing there holding 19lb Sawyer). Josh & I kinda ignored the part about me not picking up/holding Sawyer that weekend.<br /><br />BUT, come Monday, Mom was at the house. She told me I needed to call the office & explain my situation & ask how strict the rest is. Ya, uh, the answer stunk. She explained that it can be very serious & the restrictions are very strict. Lovely, just lovely. That means that Mom is stuck watching Sawyer every single day.<br /><br />It is very likely that when I return for my </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19" >sono</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" > in a month the placenta will have migrated & they will lift the restrictions, but until then I am not allowed to lift anything over 15lbs. </span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20" >BOOO</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >!!!!<br /><br /></span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" >Please</span><span style="font-family: times new roman;font-size:130%;" > be praying that this will correct itself quickly & that the rest of the pregnancy will be uneventful so that Mom can be relinquished of her duties.</span>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-46828050385462738182010-05-20T13:40:00.005-05:002010-05-22T20:21:54.650-05:00Fire Station TourMonday we took a trip to the Hurst Fire Station on Pipeline for a tour & to see the firetrucks. A girl from our Mom's group organized the tour & the kids really enjoyed seeing & playing on the truck!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">This is their dining table. One of the firefighters made it.....aren't the fire hydrants cool??<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHGbe9qgI/AAAAAAAADJ0/LAlasWuk2v4/s1600/DSC_0032.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHGbe9qgI/AAAAAAAADJ0/LAlasWuk2v4/s320/DSC_0032.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473429466665298434" border="0" /></a><br />Here is their lounge area. There are eight of everything because there are always eight of them there at one time. I was so embarrassed because Spencer acted like he was in heaven, running around like a crazy man screaming & shouting with joy as he spun the chairs around & around!<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHGC8rIXI/AAAAAAAADJs/_LkUZcN_-xc/s1600/DSC_0034.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHGC8rIXI/AAAAAAAADJs/_LkUZcN_-xc/s320/DSC_0034.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473429460079026546" border="0" /></a>Spencer is showing Mommy the firetruck.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHFXycrrI/AAAAAAAADJk/lIq_4JI4SeU/s1600/DSC_0043.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHFXycrrI/AAAAAAAADJk/lIq_4JI4SeU/s320/DSC_0043.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473429448493412018" border="0" /></a>And the kids got a kick out of playing on the pole.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHE_oD_nI/AAAAAAAADJc/AGiUxJRA5gg/s1600/DSC_0047.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WHE_oD_nI/AAAAAAAADJc/AGiUxJRA5gg/s320/DSC_0047.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473429442007400050" border="0" /></a><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Checkin</span>' out the truck.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDIZOtYHI/AAAAAAAADJU/yBN93-kLRlk/s1600/DSC_0059.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDIZOtYHI/AAAAAAAADJU/yBN93-kLRlk/s320/DSC_0059.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473425102373478514" border="0" /></a>Spencer thought getting in & out of the truck was so much fun. This poor firefighter was such a good sport. He got so tired of getting him in & out that he finally just picked him up & held him. For those of you wondering why I was the mother that let my kid be so annoying, it was because I was wearing Sawyer & I wasn't able to pick him up & restrain him.....not a good excuse but reality.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDHgpTpdI/AAAAAAAADJM/c2yNnbHdeyU/s1600/DSC_0063.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDHgpTpdI/AAAAAAAADJM/c2yNnbHdeyU/s320/DSC_0063.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473425087184217554" border="0" /></a>Spencer enjoyed playing peek-a-boo with the flag!<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDG5A0x-I/AAAAAAAADJE/2NVrnmNg8sM/s1600/DSC_0064.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDG5A0x-I/AAAAAAAADJE/2NVrnmNg8sM/s320/DSC_0064.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473425076545439714" border="0" /></a><br />My cuties!<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDGuoFcyI/AAAAAAAADI8/LczHcWlQwNo/s1600/DSC_0072.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WDGuoFcyI/AAAAAAAADI8/LczHcWlQwNo/s320/DSC_0072.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473425073757319970" border="0" /></a>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-20300320732163833172010-05-20T13:31:00.004-05:002010-05-22T20:21:54.651-05:00Picnic at the ParkSaturday night we had a picnic at the park with some friends from our Sunday school class. We all have a kid or 3 now so these are fun events.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Sam, Amelia & Charlotte<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WArNtPrfI/AAAAAAAADIs/ueRGulJUV5g/s1600/DSC_0004.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WArNtPrfI/AAAAAAAADIs/ueRGulJUV5g/s320/DSC_0004.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473422402040868338" border="0" /></a>Daddy & Spencer<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WAqk61f_I/AAAAAAAADIk/A5C8tnJA6ok/s1600/DSC_0008.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WAqk61f_I/AAAAAAAADIk/A5C8tnJA6ok/s320/DSC_0008.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473422391092019186" border="0" /></a>Amelia & cheese ball Sam<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WAqH1wlkI/AAAAAAAADIc/0yQQ5aaZXfU/s1600/DSC_0013.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 214px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WAqH1wlkI/AAAAAAAADIc/0yQQ5aaZXfU/s320/DSC_0013.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473422383286097474" border="0" /></a>Daddy & his kiddos<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WApuhfdcI/AAAAAAAADIU/CXA7o88VdAA/s1600/DSC_0020.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WApuhfdcI/AAAAAAAADIU/CXA7o88VdAA/s320/DSC_0020.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473422376490202562" border="0" /></a>Mr. Troy was the highlight of the night......all the kids wanted to play with him.<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WAo4wts4I/AAAAAAAADIM/KnuRqF9CFGs/s1600/DSC_0026.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_WAo4wts4I/AAAAAAAADIM/KnuRqF9CFGs/s320/DSC_0026.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473422362058535810" border="0" /></a>Boy do we enjoy stuff like this.....we just don't get to do it enough anymore.Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-66839413599421496802010-05-20T07:15:00.004-05:002010-05-22T22:03:18.065-05:00Throwin' a Fit!Captured these pics of Spence throwing a fit & thought they were priceless! <br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_Uo1j2DOBI/AAAAAAAADH0/fGj4bTSslYA/s1600/DSC_0645.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_Uo1j2DOBI/AAAAAAAADH0/fGj4bTSslYA/s320/DSC_0645.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473325822758828050" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_UqvdOwAmI/AAAAAAAADIE/H3jGuDCETSU/s1600/DSC_0647.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_UqvdOwAmI/AAAAAAAADIE/H3jGuDCETSU/s320/DSC_0647.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473327916927418978" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_UquXYGNdI/AAAAAAAADH8/sRRbBVMDUiw/s1600/DSC_0648.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_UquXYGNdI/AAAAAAAADH8/sRRbBVMDUiw/s320/DSC_0648.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473327898176140754" border="0" /></a>And I have to explain this next one. Here he is <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">rarin</span>' back to hit whatever gets in his path....usually whoever he is upset with (including Josh & I). This is like his threat pose. When he raises his arm like this Samara goes running. We are having to work on him getting that arm down! Such a little stinker!<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_Uo0LXdjvI/AAAAAAAADHc/Vbh6UoIUI8k/s1600/DSC_0650.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_Uo0LXdjvI/AAAAAAAADHc/Vbh6UoIUI8k/s320/DSC_0650.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5473325799008210674" border="0" /></a>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-42493393898703152262010-05-18T13:57:00.004-05:002010-05-22T20:22:54.351-05:00Trinity Park TrainWith Daddy home & the weather nice we decided we would go do the Trinity Park train. It was a little windier than we had expected but everyone still had a great time. This is such inexpensive family fun.....love that!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">On the way out there we picked up some fast food & had a little picnic in the back of the truck when we got there!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MjtCI-cOI/AAAAAAAADHU/VWLICrN0GFs/s1600/DSC_0653.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MjtCI-cOI/AAAAAAAADHU/VWLICrN0GFs/s320/DSC_0653.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472757228760887522" border="0" /></a>She finds a place to twirl anywhere she goes!<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPlaX_okI/AAAAAAAADHM/BAnedgumcd0/s1600/DSC_0659.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPlaX_okI/AAAAAAAADHM/BAnedgumcd0/s320/DSC_0659.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472735107594822210" border="0" /></a>Daddy, Sam & Spence<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPk68O9EI/AAAAAAAADHE/IZWCb5MMxkU/s1600/DSC_0675.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPk68O9EI/AAAAAAAADHE/IZWCb5MMxkU/s320/DSC_0675.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472735099156886594" border="0" /></a>Mommy & Sawyer<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPklbh3uI/AAAAAAAADG8/jhIYNKiOtwA/s1600/DSC_0679.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPklbh3uI/AAAAAAAADG8/jhIYNKiOtwA/s320/DSC_0679.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472735093382569698" border="0" /></a>Mommy, Spence & Sam<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPkB8tOdI/AAAAAAAADG0/BcMI1BZyFgc/s1600/DSC_0684.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPkB8tOdI/AAAAAAAADG0/BcMI1BZyFgc/s320/DSC_0684.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472735083858049490" border="0" /></a>The train<br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPjnFlAMI/AAAAAAAADGs/uqBwuZXkyG4/s1600/DSC_0686.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_MPjnFlAMI/AAAAAAAADGs/uqBwuZXkyG4/s320/DSC_0686.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472735076647502018" border="0" /></a>Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-14891531786123257092010-05-17T12:53:00.003-05:002010-05-22T20:24:00.099-05:00Fun CraftI am always on the lookout for fun, inexpensive crafts & this one was perfect.....something a little educational as well something Spencer could participate in. Here is Sam holding her fruit loop sand art.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_GEdds110I/AAAAAAAADGE/tOJw2mrQvkg/s1600/DSC_0560.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_GEdds110I/AAAAAAAADGE/tOJw2mrQvkg/s320/DSC_0560.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472300663955642178" border="0" /></a><br />Step 1: Sort all the colors into separate bowls.....this can be done at snack time so they can snack & sort : )<br /><br />Step 2: Put the colors into <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ziploc</span> bags & crush. Of course they both loved this part.<br /><br />Step 3: Get a funnel & pour crushed up fruit loops into a small jar in layers. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Waalaa</span>!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Just had to share these pics.....I thought they were super cute.<br />Samara holding Sawyer on the 4-wheeler.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_GEeWec0HI/AAAAAAAADGU/fUP2C3_9JIE/s1600/DSC_0571.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_GEeWec0HI/AAAAAAAADGU/fUP2C3_9JIE/s320/DSC_0571.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472300679196102770" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">& here she is showing him how to work it. She is such a little Mama.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_GEfG1aCLI/AAAAAAAADGc/5MGYx1_7unA/s1600/DSC_0573.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_HLAXQsQVThY/S_GEfG1aCLI/AAAAAAAADGc/5MGYx1_7unA/s320/DSC_0573.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472300692177291442" border="0" /></a><br /></div>They LOVE the 4-wheeler......by far THE best Christmas purchase. They ride it EVERY day! Thankfully we have a large backyard......now we just want a swing set!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-669148318613521650.post-49218266262307761522010-05-14T02:17:00.001-05:002010-05-22T20:25:17.135-05:00Sawyer Isaac MartinSo, I promised this a long time ago. I realize it is about 7 months late but better late than never, right? I do want to have this memory recorded.<br /><br />I was so ready for him to be here, you might even say, more than ready....if that's possible. It seemed that I had somewhat turned life off waiting for him to get here.<br /><br />After making it past the time in my pregnancy that I delivered Spencer I made a decision to just do life as normal, no longer trying every labor inducing tactic and just let him come when he was gonna come (as if there was really any other option).<br /><br />Saturday we ran errands. With the cold weather coming upon us, both of our children were without winter shoes so we took a trip to Target and got them some "warm" shoes. Sam got princess shoes.....which she was so excited about! Spencer was also lacking some long jammies so we went to Babies R Us and got him a few of those as well. After running our errands we dropped the kids off at Mom & Dad's and took off to the movies for a long overdue date!<br /><br />We were planning on dinner and a movie but God had a different plan! While in the movie, I kept having contractions, but that was nothing new. What <span style="font-style: italic;">was</span> new, was the intensity with which they were coming. It seemed that they were getting stronger but I had been through this "thinking" I was starting labor so many times that I didn't get too anxious to get outta there. After several trips to empty my bladder with very little relief from the intensity of the contractions, I felt pretty confident that it was time and made Josh leave the movie. I'm sure he thought, "ugh, really? She is always having contractions, I bet this isn't even it and she made me leave the movie." Thankfully, I was right!<br /><br />We left North East Mall about 6:15, headed home, finished packing my bags and packed Sam and Spence a bag to take to Mom & Dad's. Once we got the bags packed we made our way to Mom & Dad's to drop off the kids stuff and tell them that they would be staying with Nini & Papa.<br /><br />We stayed there for a little over an hour playing with the kids, letting my contractions get more consistent and getting all the stuff off my camera so that I would have ample room for all of the pictures and videos we would be taking at the hospital.<br /><br />After about 30 minutes of my contractions being one minute long, coming 3 minutes apart, I decided we needed to head out. It seemed that they were totally inconsistent up to this point and Mom and I were sure that they needed to be more consistent for me to head to the hospital. Besides, I had been instructed to wait until I could no longer talk or walk through my contractions & I wasn't there yet, so I was very hesitant to go. Thankfully God kicked me in the tail & pushed me out the door.<br /><br />We made it to the hospital about 8:30ish. They threw me into triage; noticed my contractions were coming very quickly (about 1 1/2 minutes apart now), checked me (I was dialated to 7cm, with a paper thin cervix and a bulging sack) and decided that I needed to be moved QUICKLY to a room. She logged me into my room at 8:55.<br /><br />After getting in the room she explained that things would be happening very quickly and that he would be here before I knew it. I honestly thought they were just being encouraging because I was in mucho pain.<br /><br />Things were eerily quiet. Seemed like there was no one there. Didn't see a single person on the way up to L & D and then when we got there, there was only one person at the desk. Such a nice thing when you are screaming.....I mean really.....couldn't it have been loud and busy to disguise my screams somewhat? At least the screaming lasted less than 10 minutes!<br /><br />After getting into the room, the nurse took off. It wasn't long before another nurse showed up to get an IV started. Only a few minutes later, another nurse made her way in and started prepping the room for the doc (got the sterile tray out and flipped the light out of the ceiling) and got the warmer all ready for baby.<br /><br />(While in triage, the nurse asked if I wanted an epidural. I told her "no," so she asked if I wanted pain meds. I was not against pain meds at all and told her "yes, that would be great." Unfortunately, time would not allow me to ever receive those meds.....much less the epidural she offered)<br /><br />I'm pretty sure that all of the preparation clued me into the fact that those weren't just encouraging words from the nurses, but that Sawyer would actually be arriving very soon.<br /><br />I remember the nurse coming back in and me saying, "the doctor isn't going to make it, is he?" Her answer? "Oh ya, he just lives down the street.....he'll be here." .........WRONG!<br /><br />She checked me again and I was dilated to 9 something cm's.<br /><br />During my next contraction my water broke......which is an understatement. More like blew! With my other deliveries the doc had to break my water. This time was quite an experience. Who knew the force behind your water breaking naturally during a contraction! TMI, but I had to throw my socks away!<br /><br />At this point I began seeing the fear in the nurses eyes. They quickly began coaching me and desperately trying to convince me NOT to push. Still no doc. No light on, no stirrups up, no bed broken down. One nurse sitting in front of me on the bed and the other standing next to her.<br /><br />Huh! YA RIGHT people! Not pushing might be possible with an epidural......NO WAY without one! The next contraction and the nurse got in my face, trying to get me to focus, telling me how to breathe, not to push, etc. Just wasn't happening! I TRIED.....I really did.<br /><br />I remember being so embarrassed that I was screaming. I didn't think I was a screamer.....don't guess you can really say what you are or aren't until you have a baby naturally. As I think back on my athletic days, I guess I was always one of those who grunted & screamed to get power. Like when you watch a tennis match and the player is grunting with every swing.....that was me. Guess this was my power scream : )<br /><br />I just remember me saying, "He's coming!" and Josh was scared out of his mind, trying to get me to stop pushing. He was feeding off of the nurses who, as I'm sure they have been coached to do, were begging me to stop pushing and wait on the doctor. Just wasn't happening. I can remember looking Josh right in the eye and saying, "Chill out, everything will be fine." I probably wasn't too nice when saying that......sorry Babe.....it just hurt and I was just ready to get him outta there!<br /><br />It was all happening so quickly and soon the nurse on the bed turns to the other nurse, who is still trying to get me admitted on the computer and says, "You need to get your gloves on, NOW." As she gets over there and takes a look I can remember Josh saying, "he's coming" and the nurse saying, "you've got to stop pushing for just a minute, his hand is up by his face." At this point I somehow was able to stop for a few seconds.....I suppose it was because I was afraid that I was causing the baby trauma. The next push and we had a sweet baby boy at 9:13 pm, 19 minutes after getting to our room.<br /><br />One of the nurses took Sawyer and started to get him all cleaned up and checked out. The other nurse sat there with me waiting for the doctor.<br /><br />It wasn't much longer and the doctor arrived. I know this sounds like a crazy thing to say but I am so blessed he wasn't there for the birth. God is so good in that way.....he knows exactly how things need to go and makes it happen.<br /><br />When we discussed the birth at the doctor's office he made me feel like I was really putting him out by not having an epidural. On top of that, for convenience purposes, he really pushed for me to schedule an induction. With it being a Saturday evening, and taking into consideration those two things, it would have made for such an awkwardness.....something I did NOT need on top of the already chaotic circumstances. Thank you Lord for knowing what I need and providing!<br /><br />God is so amazing in so many ways. For those who don't already know this, I had an epidural during my two previous deliveries. I was never one that felt compelled to fully experience childbirth.<br /><br />For some reason (that was unknown at the time) I had a very strong desire to have this baby naturally. When asked, "Why?" I really couldn't give a good answer. It was always something like, "I don't know really, I just feel the Lord impressing it upon my heart this time.".......so vague and I always felt silly saying that. I hear people use that phrase to justify things they are doing when in fact they are just doing as they wish and I never want to be one of those people. I am very careful when I use that phrase but this time it was obviously the Lord speaking to me because I did NOT want to have this baby naturally.<br /><br />I am a research freak and so I began researching natural childbirth. I suppose I thought it would hurt less if I were more prepared : ) I have a friend who delivered at a birthing center and I really thought I wanted to go that route but after checking into it I came to the realization that it just isn't smart to use a midwife with a high risk pregnancy.<br /><br />I see now that all of this was to prepare me for a delivery where the decision to have an epidural was completely out of my control. There wasn't even time for them to administer pain meds through the IV, much less get an epidural. I'm pretty sure I would have completely freaked had I not prepared myself mentally for this.<br /><br />I am so thankful that God gives us the ability to hear his voice even though it is not an audible one!Reaganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11926175322515155687noreply@blogger.com1