Brokenhearted

It is something I try to think of only to pray about but quickly like to ignore. Thankfully I am able to do that. My mind could quickly be consumed by the "what ifs" by pondering too long on this situation.

If you have checked out my blogroll you may have noticed the name Jordan Flint. This is the name of an amazing 3 year old girl battling leukemia. I HAD to share the journal entry for today. It was heart wrenching and I know if this were me, I would like as many as possible pleading with the Lord.....

The last 2 days have been tough on me as I watched Jordan struggle emotionally. Yesterday I took her to church for the first time since Easter weekend. It was promotion Sunday and all the pre-k kids started going to Promiseland (a special worship service for the pre-k and kindergarten kids). The doctor said last week that for the next month or so she could go to 1-2 hours of group activities a day to help her get back in the social world. My heart was breaking for Jordan as she struggled with the new situation. She had not seen any of the kids in 5 months and in that time she looks totally different. On the way to church she asked me if I was going to tell the kids about her hair and port so that they would understand. She is extremely shy when placed in new situations, especially when she is uncomfortable, so she did not talk to any of the other kids.

Today, Jordan went with me to take Jadyn to day care. Laura, the most wonderful receptionist ever J, took Jordan to some of the classes to see her friends while I took Jadyn to class. From what I gathered from Jordan, she took her hat off in class and the kids asked what happened to her hair. Laura told them that Jordan had been sick and the medicine was so strong that it made her hair come out. I don’t know if the kids understood but, hopefully, one day soon they will be able to look beyond her hair and see the Jordan they knew on the inside. We are hoping that once next week’s hospital stay is over, we can continue to take her up there to play with her friends for a little bit each day. Please pray that the teachers can help the kids to understand what is going on with her. I can only imagine the fears that are also going through their minds – can I get what she has? What if my hair fell out? Etc.

Please pray for Jordan – she has been through so much physically that it is awful to see her hurt emotionally as well. I know that in time it will get better. For the next month or so, she will be able to try to connect with the other kids but then she will be out for another couple of months while going through another rough phase of treatment.

Can you imagine? Honestly, if that does not break your heart, you might consider doing some deep soul searching! Jordan's mother is a family friend.....I have known her all my life. We have never been close friends but somehow she just seems like part of our extended family! This is the first time I have EVER been touched so closely by something so tragic as this circumstance! (yes, I know I am blessed).

I cannot fathom watching my 3 year old break down emotionally after having been through sooo much! My heart would be in shambles for an adult having to go through such, but a 3 year old? Isn't that when there are no cares? When everyone gets along? When no one sees all your imperfections? Being surrounded by adults who "get it" and hurt for you must be vastly different than being thrown into a toddler social setting. It isn't even so much as looking different than everyone else but looking different than yourself! Oh, my heart aches for this family.

Don't you know that the questions must be spilling into heaven from these children, asking their Father, "WHY..."? I am so encouraged to see the strength the Father has given them during this time. They amaze me and even still I wonder how everything gets done. It is interesting how this amazing respect has just poured from my being for these parents who struggle alongside their children. (As if they have any other option.....and yet, it is still oozing from my soul). I suppose it is in these situations that we see true character and it is that character that brings about such a deep sense of respect!

For whatever reason, out of all the posts I have read, this touched me where no other has. I suppose it brings back thoughts of that saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Whoever made this up was a fool.

I ask that you pray for the Flint family.....especially sweet Jordan.