Very Possibly the Most Terrifying Moment of My Life!

Whew.....yesterday was rough. It was wonderful day with family but we noticed Samara seemed like she wasn't feeling well once we got to Mom's and she started playing (though she seemed fine in the morning). I thought.....surely not.....she's only been off her antibiotics (for an ear infection) for a couple of days.....she couldn't possibly be sick again. Silly assumption. When she started "acting" sick.....you know....the whine about everything, every little thing is a huge deal stuff, and I said something about it, Mom mentioned that she looked like she didn't feel good to her.

On the way out the door to head to Joey's for the Martin Thanksgiving I felt Samara and she was BURNING up. UGH! We got to Joey's and immediately took her temperature....101.7. (Sorry Karen.....I had NO idea) She wouldn't even get down to play with Levi. She just wanted one of us to hold her and moaned and groaned. Poor baby. We gave her some Motrin and she perked up. The Motrin was still working when we got home so we will see what she feels like when she gets up this morning.

And on to the story......

So, last night we got home about 9:00 which was WAY past Sam's bedtime and time for Spencer to eat. Josh got Samara all ready and I got Spencer's bottle ready. Josh tried to put Sam to sleep but she wanted to rock (that's her thing when she's tired) so Josh took her into the living room to rock her for a bit. After getting Spencer's bottle ready I headed back to our bedroom. I typically feed him on our bed. I sat him on the bed and put the bottle down beside him. He wasn't screaming for it yet so I thought, "I'm going to change clothes and take out my contacts (which were killing me)." I made sure he was up there good, pulled the pillow around to kind of guard him and headed to the bathroom to change.

As I was putting my night shirt on I heard this awful crack sound. I knew . I RAN.....I mean bolted around the corner to find Spencer on the floor next to my bed. I screamed bloody murder, I mean a blood curdling scream.....no tears, I just kept screaming as I scooped him up and started crying out to God. I ran toward the living room.....frantic and screaming. Of course, Josh met me halfway, bolting around the corner into the hallway....."what, what, what?"

"HE FELL OFF THE BED!"

I honestly hadn't even stopped long enough to assess the damage. I knew he wasn't bleeding but I didn't know anything else. Meeting up with Josh allowed me to slow down and take a look. I was so afraid of what I would find. He seemed fine and I was able to calm him down. I just sat there and rocked him and cried. I felt like we should take him to the emergency clinic or SOMETHING but Josh just kept saying, "he's fine Reagan, he's fine."

You need to understand that we have stained CONCRETE floors. When I heard the crack I just knew things were going to be bad. Once I had him calmed down and was able to go back to get his bottle I realized that it was the bottle that had made the spine tingling crack, not his head. After the heat of the moment and I went through the situation in my head again, I'm not sure he was even crying when I found him on the floor. I have this book pocket that slips in between my mattress and box spring. Yesterday morning I noticed it had fallen out and onto the floor. We were in a hurry to leave so I didn't bother putting it back. When I snatched Spencer up, he was lying on that.....a cushion, if you will. After replaying the situation, all I can do is praise God for his protection. That 12" spot was the ONLY area that had anything for him to fall on besides the hard floor.

I think I scared him more by my screaming than the actual fall. I freaked Josh and Samara out beyond belief as well. She kept crying and saying, "Mommy hurt, Bubba hurt," over and over. Needless to say that it took some work on Josh's part to get her calmed down and into bed.

I just cried.....and cried.....and cried. I was so ashamed at myself.......how stupid! All I can figure is that he was trying to get that bottle and it was rolling, so he was chasing it.....right off the bed.

While I realize he is fine, that was so incredibly terrifying! I freaked people. It scares me. It makes me nervous that I can't seem to do anything when my child is hurt. My Mom has told me before, "You've got to get it together Reagan. You have to be able to take care of your kids if they get hurt; you can't just freeze up." And look what I did!

It was a bad night.