Monday, April 7, 2008

Frustrated but thankful!

LAZY! That is how I feel. While I realize that I am simply following doctors orders, it doesn't help the feeling that I am just being lazy! It takes everything I have not to just get up when I want something. I have plenty of people around reminding me that I can't do that, so for those of you who are worried that I am doing too much, DON'T! Bathroom breaks, a shower and the occasional trip to the kitchen are about all I get. I am having the same discomfort that I had when I went into the hospital so I know that I can't overdo it at this point. I am praying that will go away with time.

It is such a joy to be home and around Samara all day. She makes me smile and I need that right now. She is still a little confused as to why I can't feed her or get her more juice or pick her up, but I think she is doing much better than when she could only see me 30 min a day. She missed her Daddy a ton (as usual), so she has been soooo happy to have both of us home!

Thankfully Josh already did alot with Samara, so that transition hasn't been too difficult. It is only questions like, "What do I put her in" that he has really had to ask. He brings me the hair stuff so I can fix her hair, so he doesn't have to worry about that. (I'm not sure what she would have looked like when Josh had her if I had to stay in the hospital, but at least she would have been cared for!) He is an excellent Father and I am grateful for that.

As for his adjustment in being the housekeeper and my wait staff, we'll allow a little more time until that discussion!

Overall this is a real challenge, but one I wouldn't trade. Getting to see Sam is worth every bit of the frustration.

Our parents have been amazing and it is a true blessing to have them so close. I would not be able to be home if it weren't for my Mom.....thanks Mom, you're the best! Not only has she been a caregiver for Sam, she has also gotten my house back in order! She's a trooper! From now until this little boy decides to join us, Mom & Dad have volunteered to stay at our house while Josh is out of town (Tues-Fri). As I am sure you can imagine, this is a huge sacrifice and I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Please pray for their sanity and my Mom's mental, emotional and physical well-being. She is still dynamite but she is no spring chicken.....doing the toddler thing is a little different than when she was 20!

It is also very difficult to not be able to do things like make dinner for them when they are doing so much for me.....I feel so useless!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHH!

Please continue to pray for us. I have an appt for both my OB and the paranatologist on Wed morning......please pray that I get a good report from them both.

For those of you who don't know, I have a very good friend who is well overdue with her first child. Please pray for her. She is actually doing really well (much better than I would have been) and I am so proud of her, but I think things are getting close and I am sure that things are getting intense around there. Misty....I love you and can't wait to meet your little Amelia! I am praying for you!

For those of you who have called, I realize that you would like to talk to me. I haven't been answering the phone. I am just trying to get adjusted to all of this and don't want to be negative to anyone when I should just be thankful that I am home. I am not trying to be rude...I am thankful for all of your calls. I will start answering the phone soon.

I have rambled far too long!

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