Sawyer Isaac Martin

So, I promised this a long time ago. I realize it is about 7 months late but better late than never, right? I do want to have this memory recorded.

I was so ready for him to be here, you might even say, more than ready....if that's possible. It seemed that I had somewhat turned life off waiting for him to get here.

After making it past the time in my pregnancy that I delivered Spencer I made a decision to just do life as normal, no longer trying every labor inducing tactic and just let him come when he was gonna come (as if there was really any other option).

Saturday we ran errands. With the cold weather coming upon us, both of our children were without winter shoes so we took a trip to Target and got them some "warm" shoes. Sam got princess shoes.....which she was so excited about! Spencer was also lacking some long jammies so we went to Babies R Us and got him a few of those as well. After running our errands we dropped the kids off at Mom & Dad's and took off to the movies for a long overdue date!

We were planning on dinner and a movie but God had a different plan! While in the movie, I kept having contractions, but that was nothing new. What was new, was the intensity with which they were coming. It seemed that they were getting stronger but I had been through this "thinking" I was starting labor so many times that I didn't get too anxious to get outta there. After several trips to empty my bladder with very little relief from the intensity of the contractions, I felt pretty confident that it was time and made Josh leave the movie. I'm sure he thought, "ugh, really? She is always having contractions, I bet this isn't even it and she made me leave the movie." Thankfully, I was right!

We left North East Mall about 6:15, headed home, finished packing my bags and packed Sam and Spence a bag to take to Mom & Dad's. Once we got the bags packed we made our way to Mom & Dad's to drop off the kids stuff and tell them that they would be staying with Nini & Papa.

We stayed there for a little over an hour playing with the kids, letting my contractions get more consistent and getting all the stuff off my camera so that I would have ample room for all of the pictures and videos we would be taking at the hospital.

After about 30 minutes of my contractions being one minute long, coming 3 minutes apart, I decided we needed to head out. It seemed that they were totally inconsistent up to this point and Mom and I were sure that they needed to be more consistent for me to head to the hospital. Besides, I had been instructed to wait until I could no longer talk or walk through my contractions & I wasn't there yet, so I was very hesitant to go. Thankfully God kicked me in the tail & pushed me out the door.

We made it to the hospital about 8:30ish. They threw me into triage; noticed my contractions were coming very quickly (about 1 1/2 minutes apart now), checked me (I was dialated to 7cm, with a paper thin cervix and a bulging sack) and decided that I needed to be moved QUICKLY to a room. She logged me into my room at 8:55.

After getting in the room she explained that things would be happening very quickly and that he would be here before I knew it. I honestly thought they were just being encouraging because I was in mucho pain.

Things were eerily quiet. Seemed like there was no one there. Didn't see a single person on the way up to L & D and then when we got there, there was only one person at the desk. Such a nice thing when you are screaming.....I mean really.....couldn't it have been loud and busy to disguise my screams somewhat? At least the screaming lasted less than 10 minutes!

After getting into the room, the nurse took off. It wasn't long before another nurse showed up to get an IV started. Only a few minutes later, another nurse made her way in and started prepping the room for the doc (got the sterile tray out and flipped the light out of the ceiling) and got the warmer all ready for baby.

(While in triage, the nurse asked if I wanted an epidural. I told her "no," so she asked if I wanted pain meds. I was not against pain meds at all and told her "yes, that would be great." Unfortunately, time would not allow me to ever receive those meds.....much less the epidural she offered)

I'm pretty sure that all of the preparation clued me into the fact that those weren't just encouraging words from the nurses, but that Sawyer would actually be arriving very soon.

I remember the nurse coming back in and me saying, "the doctor isn't going to make it, is he?" Her answer? "Oh ya, he just lives down the street.....he'll be here." .........WRONG!

She checked me again and I was dilated to 9 something cm's.

During my next contraction my water broke......which is an understatement. More like blew! With my other deliveries the doc had to break my water. This time was quite an experience. Who knew the force behind your water breaking naturally during a contraction! TMI, but I had to throw my socks away!

At this point I began seeing the fear in the nurses eyes. They quickly began coaching me and desperately trying to convince me NOT to push. Still no doc. No light on, no stirrups up, no bed broken down. One nurse sitting in front of me on the bed and the other standing next to her.

Huh! YA RIGHT people! Not pushing might be possible with an epidural......NO WAY without one! The next contraction and the nurse got in my face, trying to get me to focus, telling me how to breathe, not to push, etc. Just wasn't happening! I TRIED.....I really did.

I remember being so embarrassed that I was screaming. I didn't think I was a screamer.....don't guess you can really say what you are or aren't until you have a baby naturally. As I think back on my athletic days, I guess I was always one of those who grunted & screamed to get power. Like when you watch a tennis match and the player is grunting with every swing.....that was me. Guess this was my power scream : )

I just remember me saying, "He's coming!" and Josh was scared out of his mind, trying to get me to stop pushing. He was feeding off of the nurses who, as I'm sure they have been coached to do, were begging me to stop pushing and wait on the doctor. Just wasn't happening. I can remember looking Josh right in the eye and saying, "Chill out, everything will be fine." I probably wasn't too nice when saying that......sorry Babe.....it just hurt and I was just ready to get him outta there!

It was all happening so quickly and soon the nurse on the bed turns to the other nurse, who is still trying to get me admitted on the computer and says, "You need to get your gloves on, NOW." As she gets over there and takes a look I can remember Josh saying, "he's coming" and the nurse saying, "you've got to stop pushing for just a minute, his hand is up by his face." At this point I somehow was able to stop for a few seconds.....I suppose it was because I was afraid that I was causing the baby trauma. The next push and we had a sweet baby boy at 9:13 pm, 19 minutes after getting to our room.

One of the nurses took Sawyer and started to get him all cleaned up and checked out. The other nurse sat there with me waiting for the doctor.

It wasn't much longer and the doctor arrived. I know this sounds like a crazy thing to say but I am so blessed he wasn't there for the birth. God is so good in that way.....he knows exactly how things need to go and makes it happen.

When we discussed the birth at the doctor's office he made me feel like I was really putting him out by not having an epidural. On top of that, for convenience purposes, he really pushed for me to schedule an induction. With it being a Saturday evening, and taking into consideration those two things, it would have made for such an awkwardness.....something I did NOT need on top of the already chaotic circumstances. Thank you Lord for knowing what I need and providing!

God is so amazing in so many ways. For those who don't already know this, I had an epidural during my two previous deliveries. I was never one that felt compelled to fully experience childbirth.

For some reason (that was unknown at the time) I had a very strong desire to have this baby naturally. When asked, "Why?" I really couldn't give a good answer. It was always something like, "I don't know really, I just feel the Lord impressing it upon my heart this time.".......so vague and I always felt silly saying that. I hear people use that phrase to justify things they are doing when in fact they are just doing as they wish and I never want to be one of those people. I am very careful when I use that phrase but this time it was obviously the Lord speaking to me because I did NOT want to have this baby naturally.

I am a research freak and so I began researching natural childbirth. I suppose I thought it would hurt less if I were more prepared : ) I have a friend who delivered at a birthing center and I really thought I wanted to go that route but after checking into it I came to the realization that it just isn't smart to use a midwife with a high risk pregnancy.

I see now that all of this was to prepare me for a delivery where the decision to have an epidural was completely out of my control. There wasn't even time for them to administer pain meds through the IV, much less get an epidural. I'm pretty sure I would have completely freaked had I not prepared myself mentally for this.

I am so thankful that God gives us the ability to hear his voice even though it is not an audible one!